You are back to stay?
by elanne
Summary: My take on what happens following Maria's return to the Von Trapp household after fleeing to the abbey. It's my first FanFic and I am enjoying writing it but have no idea if I actually any good at writing! I would appreciate all reviews, good and bad please. If people seem to be interested in reading more I will continue with it. Thanks and I hope you like it.
1. Chapter 1

"You are...back to...stay?" It was more of a plea than a question.

"Only until arrangements can be made for another governess." She turned and walked inside the house, wanting to look back at him but her resolve won out and she hurried into the house without the backward glance she craved so badly.

Maria had broken into a run as soon as she was sure she was out of sight of the Captain and the Baroness. Gratefully she hurtled through the door into her old room, unable to bare the sight of the Baroness and the Captain stood together which still lingered in front of her eyes. Desperately trying not to allow herself to cry, she shut the door, leaned back against it and felt herself slide down it to the floor. This was going to be unbearable. How could she possibly stay here and be cheerful and happy around the children she loved so dearly, when inside her heart was breaking? All the hope she had nursed since her conversation with the Reverend Mother had gone, leaving her with an empty space that even the seven children she had come to love more than anything couldn't quite fill. Why did the Baroness have to come to speak to her on the night of the party? She could have gone on believing that nothing was amiss between her and the Captain, enjoying witnessing the blossoming relationship between him and his children- a happy observer. The captain's intentions towards her had never crossed her mind until that night-the night when the Baroness had told her that the Captain desired her, wanted to make her his mistress. And she was hardly any better. She had known that her feelings towards him had changed since their argument by the lake and had dismissed it as just growing respect and admiration, yet that night she saw her feelings for what they truly were and was so ashamed. Ashamed of her feelings, her betrayal of God and ashamed that she could have somehow made the Captain want her in such a way, she had instantly fled. She had fully intended to take her vows to complete her ambition to become a nun as soon as possible and yet her heart had leapt when the Reverend Mother had suggested that the Baroness may have read the situation incorrectly. Perhaps it was not just lust on his part but rather love that he was afraid to show for fear of frightening her away but now she saw how entirely wrong she had been. He and the Baroness were engaged to be married and she had to leave again- she was not needed here.

"Dinner is served in five minutes, Freulein," came the excited voice of Marta from the other side of the door.

"I'm coming, sweetheart," she replied in as bright a voice as she could muster and stood up from her slumped position, straightening her dress. She walked into the bathroom and splashed some water into her face to freshen up and mentally prepared herself for the torture ahead. With a deep breath and one last look in the mirror she left the room and joined Marta in walking down the stairs to dinner.

…

He loved her. It had hit him in that moment- it was more than respect, more than gratefulness for what she had done for him and his children and more than a passing wave of lust as he had assumed on the night of the party. Only then when she had told him she could not stay had he even allowed himself to consider it, but looking at the sadness in her beautiful face it had hit him with the force of a tonne of bricks that he was in love with her. This would not go away with time; he needed her with him, by his side as his wife and in his bed as his lover.

How could he have been so stupid? He had honestly believed that proposing to the Baroness was the right thing to do. Sure he knew he wasn't in love with her but he did love her in his way and at his age, in his position surely that was all he could hope for? What a mess it all was. The poor Baroness did not deserve to be engaged to, let alone married to a man, who was clearly in love with another woman. How could he have not seen it sooner? Deep down he must have known he was in love but it had crept up on him so gradually.

He had to know. One word from her and he would end his engagement with Baroness; he just needed to know how she felt. As he watched her walk away from him and into the house without looking back, he made a silent vow to himself that he would find out tonight. He knew he could live a happy if not entirely fulfilled life with Elsa but life with Maria…he wanted her- needed her and he needed her to want him too. He hoped that she loved him but he could not understand why she had left him. As a postulant, she had not yet taken her vows and therefore would be breaking no promises by marrying him. No, she must have been scared off. She must have left because she had no interest and he had made her feel uncomfortable when they danced on that fateful night. Still, that glimmer of hope urged him on and made his resolve stronger.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for reading the last chapter and the lovely reviews! They really have made my weekend. Thank you also to those who gave me some brilliant suggestions and ideas. I have tried to take them into consideration in this chapter and I sincerely hope you enjoy it. :)

...

Surely she couldn't have forgotten what time the family ate dinner! She'd only been gone for a few days! The rest of the family, Max and Elsa has all been sat here for the last five minute and yet her place was empty along once again. Through the confused windmills of his mind, Georg couldn't help but feel a flare of annoyance. Now that he had admitted his feelings- his love-for her to himself, he had found that he was desperate to see her again as if to confirm that he was right. He needed to talk to Elsa and end things- that much was clear to him but how to go about this was an entirely different matter. If only he could see how Maria felt about him and sort things out in his head! He'd been nervous about this moment, all too aware that she had run up to her room at the first opportunity and seemingly hadn't left meaning he had asked Marta to go and find her.

Finally, she arrived holding the hand of a smiling Marta and looking rather flushed. Georg released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. Relief coursed through him at the knowledge that she was still here with him- with them, mixed with a rush of something else which made him feel slightly faint. He knew deep down that she wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to the children again but the empty, haunted look in her eyes as he had asked if she would stay left him with a prickle of doubt, which had subconsciously flared as he waited for her to arrive. Now that she was there and in that beautiful blue dress again he could not keep his eyes off her and suddenly found himself wracked with nerves like a seventeen year old boy; he could feel his face colouring. How could she not realise that she could never be a nun? She was too full of life, too loving, too free and uncontrolled and she deserved to stay that way- forever. How could she not see that the abbey needed to change her for her to become a nun? He silently prayed that he would get through this dinner without making a fool of himself, embarrassing Maria and mortally offending the Baroness. Elsa! He had nearly forgotten about her! Why on earth had he proposed to Elsa in the first place? He questioned himself for the hundredth time that night. At the time, the evening after the party, it had seemed like the logical thing to do and yet now it seemed so ludicrous. He loved Elsa in a way but knew without a doubt even then that he was not in love with her. He respected Elsa and in so many ways she had saved him, yet it was not enough. Now he saw it for what it was, a foolish attempt to avoid admitting to himself where his true feelings lay. It was an act of self-preservation, done in response to Maria's flight, which felt so much like rejection-a rejection which he just couldn't handle. He looked across the table at her and found her staring at him with a look of concern, which he tried to quell with a bright smile, aware that it probably looked forced as guilt rushed through his veins. Nevertheless, she smiled a warm smile back at him which only served to worry him further. He had never been a coward but now he felt slightly sick at the thought of having to tell her that he could not fulfil their engagement as he was in love with the governess.

...

Maria was half dragged into the dining room by an excitable Marta, flustered and embarrassed. Since her departure on the night of the party, the table arrangements had been changed so that he and Elsa were seated at opposite ends of the large table with the children between them and tonight was no different. Max was sat to the left of the Baroness and already appeared to be on his second or third glass of wine as he chatted to the Baroness about the delights of the Vienna social scene.

Maria looked around at the already nearly full table and realised with a pang that one of the only two spare seats was next to the Captain and the other between Friedrich and Louisa. "Please let Marta sit next to her father," she silently begged, looking anywhere but at the one man she longed to gaze at more than anything. Her heart sank still further as Marta happily took her place between her brother and sister leaving just one place spare. Was he trying to torture her? Just being here in the knowledge that he and the Baroness were to be married was pain enough but to have to sit in such close proximity was surely too much to bare?

...

The slight clang of cutlery against china alerted Georg to the fact that Kurt had began eating without waiting for Maria to be seated or to "thank the Lord" as she always insisted on. He looked to her waiting for her to give some reprimand as she would undoubtedly have done two weeks ago but she was still rooted to the spot in the doorway, eyes roaming as if searching for something, which made no sense to him- no one was missing were they? He realised with a slight jolt in his stomach that she had looked everywhere but at him. Her beautiful eyes remained well away from him. Why? Was there something terrible wrong? Was she worried about sitting next to him? Fear-that's what her could sense radiating from her and it made his heart bleed to see it. The thought of her being afraid of him was unbearable! Although he felt an immense sadness at the thought if her fear, he also felt a slight prickle of hope. Perhaps she felt something for him like he so wanted? And yet, even after they dance the Laendler just a few days ago he hadn't seen fear- confusion- yes, but not fear.

"Kurt, please don't begin eating without the rest of us, we haven't said grace yet!" he chastised.

"Oh Father, please can we hurry up? I am so hungry I could happily eat a whole elephant and probably a whole cow as well!" Kurt declared with a look incredulity, causing Liesl, Friedrich and Louisa to laugh and Gretl to whisper to Liesl in an attempt to ascertain whether Kurt really intended to eat an elephant.

...

For once his face was red! Although she had purposely not looked directly at him, she could still tell that much. She should not have returned. It was only making him feel uncomfortable. She was intruding on his engagement with the Baroness and back to fulfil a role that was no longer hers.

But then he had stopped Kurt eating to make him wait for the family to thank God for the food. How much things had changed since her first meal here. She couldn't help a small smile forming at Kurt's response and was touched that the Captain had remembered. "Face your problems, Maria," she tried to reassure herself, and with her eyes fixed intently on the floor, she moved towards her place.

As she slipped into the chair, her arm brushed against the Captain's shoulder making her jerk her arm away, heat spreading up her arm from the point of contact and she sat down as quickly as possible without a word. She hoped he hadn't noticed her flinch but she was sure he had heard the sharp intake of breath which she could not help escaping and was relieved when Brigitta and Louisa proceeded to tell her about their escapades over the past three days, providing a distraction.

The children had played games with the Baroness and seemed to have enjoyed it or surely they wouldn't have mentioned it? She was pleased for them, she really was. If she was to be their new mother then it was right and good that they liked her and no matter how disappointed and sorry she felt for herself, she could still appreciate how important it was that they liked their father's choice. In one way, this only added to her disappointment but the feeling of joy for the children overrode it and she felt slightly happier. Her happiness increased when Liesl began to tell her all about school beginning in a few weeks. The children's love for her, which was apparent on the face of not just Liesl but also the other children when they looked at her, calmed her. She could do this. She now knew that she would no longer be needed by the children and she would return to the abbey as soon as a new governess was found. For now she only had to get through dinner; it would be over soon and she could go back to being alone with the children and avoid seeing their father until she could return to the safety of the abbey.

...

The chime of the Baroness' laugh rang out as Max finished a joke about a mutual friend's party in Vienna. She epitomized sophistication and was practically glowing as she engaged the children in conversation and chattered on and on with Max about the party scene in Vienna, their upcoming wedding and how excited she was to return to Vienna to plan.

Georg had repeatedly tried to catch Maria's eye if only to gaze into those blue orbs for a moment but she was so damn stubborn! Every look to the man sat beside her caused Maria physical pain and so she avoided it at all costs, acting much as if there was no-one sat next to her on that side and it was working. She could feel that she was relaxing slightly; if only she could keep this up for the remainder of the meal then everything would be alright.

Silently, the Captain had sat glancing at her every few seconds, more than was necessary and natural, which had not gone unnoticed by Brigitta. Finally, he could take Maria's silence no longer and leaned slightly towards his children's governess.

"Maria, please stop ignoring me." He muttered, casting his eyes around the table to check whether any of the children had heard him. For the first time he was truly thankful for the outrageous racket which was coming from his children. They seemed to be paying no attention to him whatsoever.

She froze unsure of how to respond. It was the first time he had referred to her as 'Maria' without the 'Fraulein' which usually preceded it and it caught her off guard. Yet she was still acutely aware that Brigitta could most likely hear every word that would be said between them in this setting and would without a doubt be listening. Recovering slightly, she moved the food on her plate around for the hundredth time without actually eating anything and whispered back, "I don't have the faintest idea what you mean, Captain." She stressed the last word in a small act of defiance but more for the benefit of any listening ears. He was still glancing at her frequently, following each by a look at the Baroness. Thankfully, Elsa and Max seemed thoroughly engrossed and Friedrich was leading the rest of the children in a debate on who would be navigating on their next trip into town.

"Why did you leave? Do you not care about the children?" he whispered, giving up the pretence and refusing to lower his eyes from her blushing face. He could see her eyes widen slightly in annoyance and knew it had had the desired effect.

"Can we go swimming tomorrow, Fraulein Maria? I have missed the fresh air", stated Gretl, turning towards the pair with the air of a much older girl.

"Perhaps darling. We had better wait to see what the weather decides to do." Maria replied absentmindedly. Gretl seemed satisfied with the answer and joined back in with the other children's conversation.

"How can you even ask that?" she retorted to the Captain in a much louder voice than she intended, offended at the implication that her choice to leave was a sign of a lack of love for the children. How could she answer without suffering unbearable embarrassment and only making the whole situation worse? Especially given the way he had looked at her as she turned to walk into the villa after her return-as if he was being tortured, as if he wished she had never returned? No, she could not and would not answer. Not if she could help it. Still she could feel his eyes baring into the side of her face. Why wouldn't he look away? It was too much- it was making it hard for her to breathe!

She gave up on eating and let her arms hang either side of her body beneath the table, her fingers folding repeatedly together in discontent.

"I'm sorry, Maria, I know how much you care for my children. I'm just confused about you leaving. We- they missed you so much," he soothed moving his right hand under the table to his side and inching his chair the tiniest bit closer to Maria. He rested it so that his little finger just brushed the soft skin on the back of her left hand. He left it there, gauging her reaction, desperate to know how she felt about his touch. She froze and turned to face him in shock.

Feeling her whole body go rigid at his touch, Georg froze too, leaving her to pull away if she wished, and fearing that she would do so in disgust. He heard rather than saw her gulp and sensed her gaze shoot straight to his face; the heat of her incredulous look was burning into the side of his face. When no movement followed, Georg did a quick sweep of the room to make sure none of his children were looking and then settled his eyes on the governess' face. A familiar flush of red had crept to her neck in cheeks in the most becoming way, and she was looking at him like a deer in headlights, eyes wide as if she was unsure what to do. He tried silently to reassure her with his eyes, imploring her to give him a sign to show him that she either welcomed or wanted to reject his touch. Her hand trembled ever so slightly and he was filled with instant regret. He had never seen anyone look so extremely uncomfortable in his life.

Maria's mind was in turmoil; they were barely touching at all and yet it felt like such an intimate act. Even when they danced the Laendler it had been different- then there had been the children who were aware of what they were doing but hidden beneath the table only she and her employer knew about this secret moment. She desperately tried tear her eyes away from the captain's now blushing face to focus on the various conversations happening around the table. She was thankful that in their happiness at her return the children seemed not to have noticed her obvious distress at this change of events. Despite her distress, she had not failed to notice that the Captain was struggling to remain composed himself. She had never seen him look so utterly lost- tortured even, yet he didn't break their contact.

Finally, she made a slight indistinguishable noise and looked away from him at the hardly touched plate of food in front of her. "Please", she whispered without looking up, entirely unsure what she was begging him for. Taking her reaction as encouragement, he began to move his finger, tracing little circles on the back of her hand, so slowly over and over. She found herself moving her resting hand slightly closer to increase their contact, which made him widen in eyes in surprise before he hurriedly looked away. It was the sign he needed. Relief was coursing through him. He couldn't remember his heart ever beating this fast, especially not over such an innocent act. It must have with Agathe but he could not remember this feeling of exhilaration at the smallest of touches. It wasn't exactly a declaration of love but it showed him that she wasn't repulsed by him, that he was right to give it a chance.

Breathing was becoming more and more of a problem for Maria as she struggled to control her emotions. Before the Captain had taken her hand it was hard enough, but his touch had made it ten times worse and left her frantically trying not to cry for reasons she couldn't quite pinpoint. Yet she was desperate for him not to stop. The fluttering in her chest, although almost painful, was unbelievably enjoyable at the same time. Perhaps there was hope yet. Since her conversation with the Baroness she had been so confused about the difference between love and lust. She had said the Captain wanted her in his bed and Maria wanted so badly to believe that she was wrong but it seemed to be the only explanation for the expression on his face as they danced. She had seen want in his eyes and feared that he could see the same in her own and that was wrong. She desperately hoped he felt more than lust as she now knew she did and surely his blushing and smiling face at such a small and innocent contact between the two of them suggested that? She hardly dared to consider it, yet here he was stroking her hand- such a simple yet loving gesture. Oh why had he proposed to the Baroness? She tried desperately not to look at him in case it made him stop what he was doing, basking in the feeling which was spreading up her arm and through her whole body.

...

"Freulein Maria, you simply must persuade Georg that his children belong in the festival!" declared Max suddenly from the other end of the table, banging his fist down in excitement and breaking the spell as Maria jerked her hand away and placed both on the table in front of her together, trying to re-gain some composure.

Georg silently prayed that his observant, daughter (who was looking at him with an alarming intensity) had not noticed his contact with her governess under the table; he knew it was probably too much to hope for based on the questioning look she was now giving him from behind Maria. He smiled back at her and starting a conversation with Kurt across the table in an attempt to pretend he hadn't noticed her glance.

"I don't see how much help I can be to you Herr Deitweiller. The Captain and I disagree much more than we agree I'm afraid but I must say that I personally think that the children would be marvellous in the festival." Maria replied, looking Max full in the face and finding a friendly smile there. "They could sing the songs they performed at the party. How could the judges not love them?"

"You see Georg. Everyone other than you can see the potential!" Max exclaimed happily, beaming round at everyone.

"I'll consider it, Max but I've told you before, I'm making no promises about my children singing in public." Despite his words, a small smile spread across Georg's face.

The Baroness had remained unusually quiet throughout the exchange and was looking from Maria to the Captain repeatedly with a curious expression on her face. Why did they both look so guilty? She tried to reassure herself that George had proposed to her and it was too late for a silly infatuation for the little nun to ruin her plans now. She had been surprised to notice that Maria had seemed completely unperturbed throughout the entire mean and had hardly even looked at Georg. Perhaps she had been wrong and the little postulant was less susceptible to his charms than she had originally thought. Satisfied by Maria's apparent indifference to her conquest that there was no reason to be concerned, she returned to her conversation with Max, ignoring the rest of the table.

Maria and the Captain both passed the rest of the meal in relative silence, only speaking when addressed by one of the children. A million thoughts ran through both heads.

Maria was more confused than ever. After only returning a few hours, she was already wondering how much longer she could bear to stay here. She had promised she would not leave again but everything in her was telling her to run. Especially if he was going to be sneakily doing things like had just transpired during the last hour. Guilt and shame were now plaguing her more than ever and she felt like a fraud. She had always despised lying and although she had not said anything which was untrue, she felt that in the past two hours since her return she had lied more than she ever had in her life before.

...

Despite his happiness at her reaction, Georg's guilt was almost as unbearable. He could not go on treating both the women in his life in this way. It simply wasn't fair on either of them or on him. No- he needed to end it. He was hoping to wait for the right moment but it had to be tonight. He had to talk to them both and soon. He now knew without a doubt that even if Maria didn't want him, he could never marry the Baroness. He suspected that she knew he was not in love with her and he was under no illusions that she was in love with him but she deserved to have someone adore her and need her. Now all he had to do was build up courage to approach her without falling deeper into this mess he had created.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you again for the reviews! I am so glad that you seemed to like the last chapter. I have to be honest and say that I really struggled with this one. I had such a clear idea in my mind of where I wanted it to go, but I have been struggling to make sure that I keep the characters behaving 'in character' as it were, which is why it has taken so long. I hope I managed it even though I am beginning to deviate from the events of the film. It will end up the same way I think as that is what I intended when I started. I have nearly finished the next chapter now too so I shouldn't take very long to post it this time. Please do review and tell me your thoughts, good and bad.

I originally posted this yesterday from my ipad but having now been reunited with my laptop, I have now spotted a few errors, which I just couldn't live with! I think I've fixed them all now but please do tell me if there are any which make it difficult to read.

…

Finally the meal was over and the children's bedtime drawing ever nearer. Maria shifted uncomfortably, hoping she could make some excuse to leave as soon as possible. Perhaps she could say she was feeling unwell? It certainly wouldn't be a lie, she was feeling awful but for a completely different reason. The Captain had touched her, nearly held her hand and all the while he was engaged to another woman. At that simple touch Maria's world had come crumbling down as she had realised that she could never be a nun. Not now. He had ruined that dream for her unwittingly. How could she pledge her life to God now that she knew that she was in love with this man and she had sinned? She had wanted him. She has coveted another woman's fiancé and she had allowed him to touch her hand. She had even tried to convince herself that touching hands was not a sin; she had held the children's hands numerous times, yet it had not made her feel any better. He surely meant that touch only as a reassurance- he could sense her discomfort and had tried to help her. But she had let him knowing full well that it meant so much more than that to her. She knew it was her feelings and intent which made it a sin and not the action itself. What kind of nun would she make? No. She felt so lost and more alone than ever. If only she could retreat to her bedroom and grieve for the death of the dream she had held for so long. No wonder the Reverend Mother had repeatedly delayed the taking of her vows! She knew what wickedness was there inside her. She was right. She was always right.

She glanced at the clock and exhaled in relief. She rose from her seat, clapping her hands together and declared in relief that her close proximity to the Captain was broken, "I think it's time I put the children to bed- come children. I believe it has been an eventful day for you all." She hadn't really expected them to agree and follow her quietly but she had been hopeful nonetheless.

"Oh please can we stay up just a little later, Father?" implored Friedrich. "Fraulein Maria's return has left us all quite excited and we couldn't possibly sleep. Right?" he turned towards the others for confirmation and beaming up at Maria with such a look of glee that should couldn't help but sigh and smile back.

"Right!" came six other voices in agreement, all turning to smile in unison at their father and Maria, who grinned back at them all, finally resting his gaze on her in such a loving and becoming way that Maria's heart melted just a little despite her horror this turn of events and she sat back down in defeat, purposely refusing to look to the other end of the table where Herr Detweiler and the Baroness were. Surely they could sense her guilt, how desperate she was to leave? She could tell they were both staring at her, making her cheeks flame still further. This was her punishment, to have everyone know of her shame.

To her left, Brigitta was staring between her and the Captain with such a look of understanding that she could feel her face colouring again. Despite her discomfort at the likelihood of having to remain in the presence of the Captain and Baroness for longer, she could not help but be pleased that she now knew without a doubt that he would humour his children's simple request and not insist on following the rules without compassion for their plea as he would have done a month ago.

Sure enough his reply came, "I suppose an extra half an hour wouldn't hurt. Though I am surprised that you are not all very tired given the amount of berry picking you have done today..." He looked at each of his children in turn, a slight smile playing at the corners of his mouth while they smiled sheepishly back.

"Oh yes, Georg," said Max, excitedly, "the children can practice for the concert!" He rose quickly and left the room, with the Baroness on his arm, leading the way into the sitting room before the Captain could reply.

...

Georg knew she was desperate to get away from him but could not bear to let her go just yet and he just couldn't say no to his children. If he let her and the children leave now, he would be left alone with Elsa and Max. He couldn't speak to Elsa properly with Max there and feared he would end up agreeing to things which would make this situation so much worse to clean up in the long run. When his eldest son had asked to stay up just a little longer, he could have kissed him. Half an hour was what he needed. He could talk to Max and mention the need to speak to the Baroness alone and he could do what he needed to. He had even let Max get that last snipe about the concert in as it played to his plans.

As his children scraped the chairs back and ran out of the room excitedly, with Gretl already singing about her favourite things, he became acutely aware that he and Maria would be left alone in a matter of seconds and he had no idea how to react around her now that something had shifted between them. He pushed his chair back, making sure their arms touched as they did so and cursed himself silently as he felt Maria snatch her arm away from him as if he had just burnt her. Her eyes snapped up to meet his own and he stared into those pools of blue once more unable to tear his gaze away. There it was again- fear. She was afraid of him. Truth be told he was afraid of himself. What was he doing stealing touches from a woman who for all he knew still wanted to be a nun as soon as his fiancé was not looking? What had he become? Disgusted with himself and not wanting to embarrass her any further, he muttered, "excuse me" and walked out of the room without another glance in her direction.

...

Maria followed him without a word. Why had she reacted like that to a simple, accidental touch? She knew why. To be honest she hadn't even noticed that they were the only ones left in the room and had been caught completely off guard as it snapped her out of her reverie. For the briefest moment as she had looked into his eyes, she had really wanted him to take her hand again but knew deep down that he wouldn't. She didn't know how to react other than to follow him into the next room and carry on pretending that nothing had happened.

Luckily the Baroness was sat next to the Captain and Maria sat next to Uncle Max on the opposite side of the room. Gretl jumped up onto her lap and snuggled into her arms whilst the other children sat on the floor at the Captain's feet where Max was leading them in song. Away from the Captain, she could breathe again and think clearly. Perhaps things weren't so bad after all. She could always become a teacher. That might make her happy. But where would she go? She knew the abbey would take her back until she got on her feet- that's what she would do. The sadness and grief for the life she had so craved was stifling but she held onto the glimmer of hope that things would work out. After all, the Reverend Mother always said ,"when God closes a door, he opens a window."

She could not help but glance across at where the Captain and the Baroness sat together. The Baroness was smiling happily, her arm rested gracefully across the Captains legs as her body leaned slightly towards him. Maria's heart ached at the sight and she felt her eyes prickle as the Baroness stroked the Captain's arm with her other hand. Jealousy rose up inside her and she turned away sadly, hugging Gretl tighter.

...

The Captain was trying to subtly edge away from the Baroness. This had clearly been a mistake. The Baroness seemed to be intent of being as publically friendly with him as possible and had been tracking her finger across his upper arm for the best part of 5 minutes and he had no idea how to stop her without offending her and causing an argument in front of the children. He had tried gentle moving his arm away but she had simply shifted her body closer so the whole of the side of her body rested against his arm, leaving him wishing it was Maria and not her pressed against him and hoping against hope that Maria had not noticed this exchange. He knew as soon as he chanced a fleeting glance in her direction that his wish had been in vain. He tried to signal Max from across the room, eager to convey that he needed a moment with Elsa but to no avail.

At last, the children's song ended and he took the opportunity to move his arms and clap enthusiastically. He stood up abruptly and walked over to a cabinet to pour himself another class of scotch, thanking God for the opportunity to move away from Elsa. If he allowed her to carry on in this manner towards him, this would be so much worse.

"Time for bed children," he said as cheerfully as he could, pleased when they rose from the floor wishing the adults goodnight.

...

Maria began to move, getting ready to carry Gretl (who appeared to have fallen asleep in her arms) up to bed. The young girl really was much heavier than she looked and she was struggling to balance her weight correctly to be able to stand.

"Oh, don't go Maria, the others can put themselves to bed and there's no point in waking Gretl now is there?" protested Max. "It is You and I simply must use this time to persuade Georg to let his children sing in the festival!"

She looked towards the Captain waiting for his approval or dismissal but received none-instead he faced away from her moving to sit in an empty chair. As she was struggling to move anyway, she settled back down with Gretl reverting to the cradling position she was in earlier.

"You really have worked wonders with Georg's children, Maria" complimented Max. "but you simply must tell me; why on earth would a pretty girl like you want to be a nun?"

Maria was taken aback by the question and nearly revealed her change of heart then and there but recovered just in time. "Well, I suppose it is because of my faith and how much I love God. I have always wanted to pledge my life to his service and becoming a nun is the best way that I can do that. The abbey has always been a special place for me..." she replied avoiding looking at anyone else in the room.

"I really am a liar," she thought to herself. How could she continue with this line of questioning now that she knew she would never be a nun? She was going to have to come clean if Max continued.

As she rocked Gretl in her arms, she rested her head against the little girl's and inhaled the scent of her soft hair. Oh, how she would miss this! It suddenly occurred to her that this was the closest she had ever felt to being a mother and it came as a total shock to her how much she loved it. She stroked away a lock of hair which had fallen into Gretl's eyes and tucked it gently behind her ear, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathed and sighed. Feeling eyes on her she looked up and caught the Captain's eye, who quickly looked away and started wiggling his fingers in that endearing way she had noticed he sometimes did when he was nervous. For the first time in her life, Maria realised that she wanted to be a mother more than anything. She was unsure what prompted it- possibly a combination of hugging Gretl and the look the Captain had just given her- but what she wanted more than anything was to be a mother- the mother to his children, nearly as much as she wanted to be his wife. Even if he didn't love her, she would settle for the love of his children. The impossibility of this thought was almost too much to bare and she felt as if her heart was breaking in two.

"I just admire you so, Maria," declared the Baroness diverting her attention. "I think it is so admirable that you would give up marriage and children to serve your God. But then again I doubt that you have ever wanted those things have you, my dear?"

Maria looked at her and found the Baroness's eyes baring into her own with what seemed like enough intensity to see straight into her soul. She knew. She had to know! The chances of her saying that were so slim at exactly that moment that she must have seen it on her face and was trying to trick her in some way. No, she was being too sensitive. She wanted to believe that the Baroness would not purposefully try to trick or deceive her but it still felt like a kick in the teeth.

"Actually Baroness, I am sorry to admit that I am not as 'admirable' as you have so kindly said. I have been pondering my path in life constantly and have decided that life in the Abbey is not for me. As for children, I am so grateful for the time that I have spent surrounded by them and as I hope to become a teacher I do so hope that I will remain surrounded by them." She finished her speech by looking directly at the Baroness and feeling that for the first time she was speaking to her as a equal rather than the child she felt the night of the party.

The Captain reacted first. He coughed and spluttered on the sip of drink he had just taken and sat down in the chair he had earlier vacated staring at her open mouthed.

Upon hearing her words the Baronness' face had darkened and her eyes widened in surprise but she made no response.

Max, however, was delighted. "Maria, my dear, this is the best news! Oh believe me, you will be married off in no time!" he gestured wildly, looking around at them all. "What a loss for the abbey, but a gain for society! Maria, you will be an excellent teacher and an even better mother, I am absolutely sure of it! Think of the money you could make giving singing lessons. "

Maria nearly died of embarrassment, aware of all three pairs of eyes on her, the expressions on them each completely different. It would have been comical had it not been so utterly humiliating to have to admit her failure in this public way.

"In fact I have just the man who I can set you up with," continued Max in his element. "I can introduce you at the festival..."

"Max, I will not have you interfering in the affairs of my governess in this manner!" warned the Captain in a threatening tone, banging his glass down on the side table without warning, his eyes shooting daggers at his friend.

His friend looked at him in surprise, "I hardly think it's fair to call her 'your' governess, Georg. I would argue that she belongs to the children much more than she belongs to you and besides I was only offering. Maria, can help me at the festival and you can be there to make sure she is kept safely away from any interested men," he retorted, pleased that Georg had not said that the festival wasn't a possibility. This was all working out rather well for him. It didn't hurt either that he knew the Fraulein had the Captain's attention and he could use her influence to his advantage finally as he had hoped to on the night of the party.

The Captain stood up and, without a word, strode across the room, stopping as he reached the doorway. "Come Elsa," he said facing away from the group. Then, he turned slowly, "Frauline, may I speak to you in my office in about an hour? I trust you will put Gretl to bed?" With that he and the Baroness left Max and Maria alone to wonder what had just happened.

...

Georg was miserable. Seeing Maria sat there cuddling his youngest child sent an arrow straight to his heart. She looked so natural, so right and so, so beautiful. Even if she rejected him she should not spend her life locked up on a convent. She deserved to have a family and someone who loved and adored her as he did.

When she has said she would not be returning to the convent he had choked on his drink. His mind went into overdrive- what did this mean? His heart was singing on the one hand and wanted to shrivel up and die on the other. Hope like he had never felt before was coursing through his veins and yet he also felt as though he had robbed God. He could not understand how she could have changed her mind unless it was because of his actions towards her. He wanted so badly to take her into his arms right then and declare his everlasting love to her but knew he could not. If it wasn't for the presence of poor Elsa and Max he might have swept her into his arms and made passionate love to her right then and there. The urge to wrap his arms around her, allowing his hands to travel down her back and unfasten the buttons of that beautiful dress to reveal the silky smooth skin of her back... "God forgive me," he prayed, appalled by the route his thought's had taken.

He was snapped violently out of his imaginings by Max's offer to set Maria up at the festival. He knew that Max was only joking and purposely bating him but he couldn't help snapping. The very thought of Maria- his Maria- with another man was utterly detestable to him despite what he had thought not two minutes ago about her deserving someone even if it couldn't be him. No- it had to be him and he needed to put this right now!

He hadn't meant to call her his governess and realised his mistake the second he had said it but he did not appreciate Max picking him up on it. He was losing control and he needed to get out of there before he looked at her again and did something he'd regret. He walked swiftly to the door and then remembered Elsa. He had to talk to her. She came to him and he'd asked Maria to join him in his office in an hour. He grabbed Elsa's hand and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to those of you who have reviewed and who are still following this story. I am sorry it took so long for me to post this chapter. I forgot I was going on holiday to Berlin and the internet access there was terrible! This story is moving a little more away from the film now but I have tried to keep the characters' "in character" as it were and I hope I have managed it. Thank you to augiesannie who suggested that I shorten my paragraphs. Paragraphing has never been my strong point but I have done my best here and hope it makes it easier to read.

Once again I apologise for any grammar or spelling mistakes. I have checked but I am on my ipad which makes it more difficult. If I notice any when I have a laptop I will fix them I promise.

I hope you enjoy it and I really will try to update quicker this time!

…

Elsa had suspected what Georg was trying to do as soon as he had called her to leave the room with him. She was no fool and instantly spotted his obvious discomfort, anger even as Max had joked about the governess' new potential, both in the festival and romantically.

Although he was clutching her hand in a manner which may have been considered loving by an unknowing observer, she knew better. His grip was too tight and business-like, his jaw was set and there was a look of determination in his eyes, which scared her slightly.

Jealousy and malice she was not proud of had driven Elsa to make the comment about Maria's lack of interest in marriage and children, which had so devastatingly backfired. She had meant it as a quick dig at her unwitting rival and she had been taken completely by surprise at the young postulant's answer.

The tender expression on Georg's face as Maria had cradled his youngest child had not been lost on her, and filled her will a sadness she couldn't explain. Would his expression have mirrored that if she had been the one cradling Gretl? Deep down she knew the answer was no and in any case she would have never held the child like that for fear of creasing her expensive Parisian gown and sheer embarrassment at her own awkward nature with children. That was why she had said it- to reassure herself more than anything thing. If there was no chance that Georg could have her then she could tolerate a silly infatuation.

She had never felt the slightest iota of maternal instinct and although she had come to very much like Georg's children, her stomach had dropped when he had announced to the brood that she would be their new mother- partly due to the look of sheer disappointment and profound confusion crossing their usually happy faces, but she also could not help inwardly cringing at the idea of herself as a mother. The idea of having her own children had never crossed her mind and she had always seen them as a hindrance rather than a blessing. She had laughed with Max about sending the little darlings to boarding school but beneath the joking there was a hint of truth. If not boarding school, they would still require a governess as she had no intention of looking after them.

Georg led her to the centre of the main hallway and spun her slightly to face him, his eyes dark and unforgiving and small beads of sweat obvious on his forehead. "Elsa, you and I need to talk," he began hesitantly. "I have treated you deplorably and I feel that I need to explain and make things right between us."

Elsa stopped. She knew what was coming; perhaps deep down she had known it since the moment she had walked out onto the terrace just three and a half hours ago and saw Georg talking to the governess. She would never admit it to anyone but behind the disappointment and desperation to win her man back, she had felt relief wash over her as the responsibility of the children was taken from her- albeit temporary.

Despite the perfectly suitable distance between them and the postulant's obvious naivety to Georg's pleading tone as he asked her if she would stay, she had known then that her hold on the Captain was in trouble, yet the girl's disinterested, almost cold attitude to her employer at dinner had filled her with hope that the threat was over.

"Oh, I don't think so Georg. On the contrary, you have been a most gracious host- you have nothing to fear on that account. And now, I must say goodnight and go to bed- I intend to meet up with some dear friends tomorrow and must take my beauty sleep. Let us talk more tomorrow, my love," she simpered smoothly. It was over- there was no doubt about that now, but she was a proud woman and she was going to do whatever she could to delay the inevitable and orchestrate the situation so that an amicable separation with as little gossip as possible happened on her terms. She would pack tonight and return to Vienna tomorrow with a little fuss as possible.

…

Why was she making this more difficult than it needed to be? He had never seen her look so determined, so full of purpose in her quest to reach her bedroom. He was under no illusions- she knew what he needed to say and was trying to stop him.

"Please don't lie to me, Elsa. You are far to kind with regards to my conduct and I must speak to you in private, in my study. It is only fair…" he began, following her up the staircase in the direction of her room, adamant that she would not leave before he could say what he needed to.

With the grace and elegance he had come to expect from her and had always admired, she span around on her designer heeled shoes to face him and looked him square in the face, "Georg-please, allow me some dignity. I'm tired and have a big day ahead tomorrow as I will be visiting friends in Vienna. I promise you we will speak properly before I leave in the morning and…sort… things."

How could he refuse? In many ways he still had feelings for the woman before him and knew what she was implying with her short but impassioned speech. She knew and wanted to be the one to end it- she needed it to be her decision and had to come to terms with it. Yet how could he wait? Oh, how he was longing to speak to Maria and confess everything: the way his heart melted when she laughed with his children, the way he caught his breath when she smiled at him and the way she had set his pulse racing, when she had let him touch her this evening.

Suddenly it dawned on him that he would soon have to face her in his study as he had requested, but would be unable to confess if he and Elsa had not yet ended their engagement. In spite of Elsa's implied acceptance of the situation he was too much of a gentleman to act on his feelings for Maria until things were properly ended- he respected Elsa too much for that. He would simply have to remain in control of his emotions.

After what seemed like an eternity, he nodded. She smiled sadly at him and reached up to stroke his cheek and softly place a chaste kiss there. With that, she left him stood staring after her and walked the remaining space to her room and closed the door shut quietly behind her without looking back at him.

Alone in the darkness of the hallway, Georg buried his face in his hands. Truly, he was sorry for the sadness he was causing to Elsa but it was better this way- he could not make her happy. He would just have to control his emotions for a little longer. With a deep breath in, he lowered his hands from his now slightly wet face and walked towards his office to think of what to say to Maria.

…

The shock of Maria's earlier confession was wearing off and the reality was settling in. The guilt rippling through Georg's very soul was impalpable. He had ruined her, stolen her from God; she didn't yet know of his wish to marry her and yet she was planning to leave the abbey anyway. The only reason he could see for this was his recent inappropriate conduct towards her and he cursed himself for the hundredth time tonight for going about this all wrong.

A quick glance at the grandfather clock by the door of his office told him that he only had ten minutes until she would be arriving at his request- if she did decided to come after his conduct towards her.

…

"Girls, are you okay?" whispered Maria, poking her head around the door of the three elder girls' bedroom and peering into the darkness.

"Yes thank you, Freulein," came the reply from Louisa and Liesl together, who she could just about make out sitting up in their beds from her place in the doorway. She looked over to the sleeping form of Brigitta in the third bed and released a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding. She had been slightly fearful of speaking to Brigitta in case she had noticed anything which had happened between herself and their father at dinner and decided to comment on it.

"Well, goodnight girls. I shall see you in the morning." She began to back out of the room, closing the door with her.

"Freulein Maria, you won't leave again will you?" Louisa asked quietly, a slight catch in her voice evident as she did so.

Maria's heart dropped a little and she crossed the room to sit on the end of Louisa's bed. "I can't promise that Louisa- you know I can't. I will have to leave when your father marries the Baroness. However, I can promise that I will not leave without saying goodbye again," she answered truthfully, placing her hand over the top of the young girl's and giving it a slight squeeze of reassurance.

"Will you stay until the wedding at least?" Liesl implored.

Maria shook her head sadly. "I don't think I can Liesl," she said simply, hoping she would somehow understand without a further explanation. To her relief, both girls nodded and settled down to sleep as she stood to leave. As she reached the doorway, she turned back to look at the pair and waved, shutting the door quietly behind her.

It was time to face the Captain again. She did not know why he had asked her to see him but she suspected it had something to do with that wretched, wonderful interaction under the table at dinner time. Either that or her decision to not return to the abbey to take her vows, though she couldn't see why that should bother him. After all, on her very first day at the villa had he not told her that she didn't look very much like a nun?

The Baroness' words from the night of the party came echoing back into her mind- haunting her- _"You're really quite attractive Maria. The Captain wouldn't be a man if he didn't desire you… want you for his pleasure. Lust is after all human nature for a man. Everyone here knows it, they can see it in his eyes. But don't worry, that's all it is and he'll get over it soon enough. I only mention it as I am worried for your reputation since it is so obvious…"_ Those words had haunted her dreams ever since the night of the party, confusing her more than anything ever had before. She knew well enough what she meant by wanting her for his pleasure and the idea nearly paralysed her with fear and yet thrilled her a little as well, which filled her with shame.

Now the concept of standing in his office, his private space alone with him was having the same effect. She contemplated running again, not back to the abbey but just away from facing him again but the Reverent Mother's words came back into her remembrance and she knew she could not. A few inches from the solid oak door, she found herself standing, almost trembling with nerves. She rested her forehead lightly against the smooth, cold surface and took a few ragged breaths before raising her shaking fist and knocking three times gently.

"Come in." Came the deep reply. She steeled herself, grasped the cold door handle and entered room.

…

A gasp escaped her lips as she saw his office. It was larger than she had imagined and meticulously tidy. A large mahogany desk sat at the back of the room where the Captain had obviously been sitting prior to rising when she had entered the room.

"Maria, please have a seat," he gestured towards a large leather couch opposite his desk with his hand, fingers twitching continuously. He was nervous too she realised and she was glad she was not alone in her discomfort.

She dithered for a moment at the door wondering whether to shut it behind her or leave it open. If she closed that door then she had no way out, no escape but surely to leave it open would make it obvious that she did not want to be alone with him? She knew she had spent too long there already and he would be asking himself why she had not yet entered the room.

Making her decision she closed the door behind her and walked towards the couch, sitting gingerly on the edge of the seat, holding her body still and her arms close to her side. She wondered if he would sit next to her and realised she hoped he would but he remained behind the desk, waiting for her to be seated and then sitting himself.

To her surprise he did not speak but instead sat looking at his hands which he had placed on the top of the desk, clearing his throat twice and flickering his eyes upward toward her face but instantly moving them away to look at some other object in the room as if he was trying to keep himself from looking at her as she had done herself earlier. She wanted to help him in some way but reasoned that he had asked for her and would have to start the conversation himself.

…

The silence was awkward and seemed almost too piercing for comfort. Georg had decided the best way to approach this was to keep the conversation distant and short and ask to speak to her again tomorrow after finally sorting things with Elsa but that was proving so much harder than he had imagined. She was sitting not one meter away from him looking so undeniably beautiful and yet miserable and all he wanted to do was tell her everything and make her his.

He had planned the conversation before she had arrived, rehearsed it multiple times in his head and yet now he could not speak. He had tried but found he could not start. It was so unlike him to be this way, he was always so sure of himself, so unflappable. What had this woman done to him?

…

She watched him loosen the tie which was still tied around his neck and undid his top button which seemed to help him to breathe easier and commenced his speech, which Maris suspected to be planned. "I was wondering- two things. Why did you return to the abbey and why did you come back? If I offended you in some way then I sincerely apologise, Freulein. Please understand that it was certainly not my intention at all and I never want you to feel uncomfortable in my house, especially not after everything you have done for my family," he said with such sincerity and kindness that Maria's nerves started to melt away and she was able to look up directly into his eyes, willing him to understand.

"No, Captain. Please don't think that. I needed to leave because of myself. I just had to get away. I couldn't stay, I just…" For a moment looking into those beautiful blue eyes she thought she could find the strength to tell him everything but found that she couldn't face the rejection she so feared.

"The reverend mother was wrong, I can't do this!" she told herself in despair.

"She was unhappy here." Georg thought miserably, "She couldn't bear your tempers and the constant mistakes you make in handling your children. Not only that, but you have ruined her dreams of becoming a nun and tarnished a pure young woman." His younger self would never have considered his almost innocent attention to Maria 'tarnishing' but now her knew of her decision to leave the convent before he had time to explain his intentions to marry her, he could not help but seem himself as a blot on her goodness.

He tried a different line of questioning: "Why have you decided not to return to the abbey? Was there something which changed your mind?"

He couldn't take it any longer. "Please Maria, I need to know!" he practically begged, standing quickly and pacing the room, hanging his head in his hands before running his fingers frantically through his hair. "I know you are not telling me the whole truth. Please. All I ask is that you let me put it right. My children would never forgive me if I didn't. I would never forgive myself…"

His brow was creased and he had moved to sit so close to her that she could practically feel the heat radiating from his body against her skin, sending a shiver down her spine. His eyes betrayed a need for something, which filled her with fear and something else which she could not decipher.

She dropped her sad eyes to her lap, unable to look at him anymore, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. "The Baroness, came to see me that night when I went to change my dress. She-she", she stuttered lost for words, folding and re-folding her hands on the rough material of her skirt in agitation.

"What did the Baroness say?" he asked resting one of his much larger hands on her own in her lap. He could not fail to notice that her whole body went rigid again as he made contact with her soft skin and her eyes lifted to meet his own. She was staring at him as if looking straight into his soul, searching for something, but he knew not what. Suddenly the room seemed very hot and the Captain felt himself falling into those deep blue pits, unable to break the contact and look away, though everything in him was screaming to do so. It was the same look she had given him at the end of their dance not two weeks ago. He knew his resolve was spiralling downwards and moved his head slightly lower towards hers as he was the tide drawn towards the moon.

Blinking and shifting slightly, she broke the moment, seeming to have gathered strength and spoke in a clearer and more confident voice, "she said that you desire me. You might think you are in love with me but that she knows lust when she see it. She said that everyone at the party could see it and that I should beware. That's why I was leaving. I cannot have other people thinking that about me- about you. I am- I was- a postulant, about to declare my life to God and you about to marry the Baroness! What choice did I have?"

The Captain's eyes flashed red and he could feel anger rising up inside him at her words, yet he fought to remain calm. "And you believed her?" he asked, aware that it had sounded more like an accusation than a question, "You believed what she said about me?"

Maria could feel herself becoming defensive. How dare he question her in this manner? "What does it matter!" she declared, throwing her hands into the air. "I don't want people thinking that you… that you are I are…that you want me in any way and neither should you!"

Rising to his feet he banged his clenched fist down onto the mahogany desk in front of him making a small glass paperweight jump from the surface onto the floor where it rolled across the wooden flooring, ignored by both parties.

"Maria, if I only wanted you in my bed… if I only wanted to possess you, I'd have taken you months ago!" he declared with such vehement passion that Maria could not help but flinch in response, suddenly very aware that both of them had stood up at some point and were (if possible) even closer to each other than they had been when sitting.

Anger was boiling inside Maria- how dare he assume that he would have been able to lure her if he had wanted? Yet deep down a small voice whispered that he was right. Deep down she knew that she would have followed him into the gates of hell if he had asked her. Much to her chagrin, she suddenly became conscious that her heart had dropped at his words; part of her had wanted him to desire her. There was absolutely no way that she was going to allow him to see that. "What makes you think that I would be so weak willed as to allow you to have me, Captain? Who are you to make such assumptions about my integrity?" she fumed, balling her small hands into fists turning her face upwards so that it was just inches from his.

His lips were so close to hers, literally centimetres away and she could not help but shift her gaze to them. Despite her rage, she felt herself more attracted to the Captain than ever; she was falling and there was nothing she could do about it.

...

Any control he had left was crumbling. How he was yearning to take her in his arms now and kiss every part of her face and whisper words of adoration to show her that he hadn't meant what she had clearly taken from his words but that he loved her and needed her and respected her so much more than she suspected.

He felt his body rock ever so slightly towards hers so that in seconds their lips would be touching and he would have everything he had longed for. Then he heard her whimper slightly bringing him crashing back down to earth. "I can't!" he declared, stepping backwards moving back behind the safety of the desk. "Believe me, I did not mean to imply that Freulein! I fear I have said too much tonight and I must retire now before I do something I will regret and you will disapprove of me for. I am truly sorry. You will come to me tomorrow? Please?" He did not wait to hear her response but instead strode from the room and down the corridor away from her before he broke his promise to himself and became a lesser man than he wanted to be.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you again to all those who have reviewed. I have tried to message you all individually but I have not managed everyone. Please know I am grateful for your suggestions and opinions! Thank you also to the anonymous reviewers who I could not message personally. Please keep up the reviews! I've taken a long time to update again but it is a longer chapter to make up for it :) I hope you enjoy!

...

Max Detweiler was pensive as he sat alone in the sitting room of the Von Trapp villa sipping on a glass of brandy. He had known Georg for nearly 20 years and liked to think that he understood the working of his friend's mind perfectly but he had been well and truly caught off guard this time.

He sunk slightly lower into the fabric covered armchair he was reposing in and massaged his temples with one hand as he replayed the events of the past few weeks in his mind in an attempt to make sense of the recent behaviour of his closest friend.

When Georg had announced his interest in the young and extraordinarily attractive and debutant Agathe Whitehead at a party one night 19 years ago, Max had not been the slightest bit surprised. Since the moment Georg had laid eyes on the young lady, Max had known she was different to the other numerous silly girls Georg had previously associated with. As they had stood together on that night so long ago Max had felt a change in Georg the second the charming Fraulein Whitehead had begun to descend the stairs at the annual naval ball. Instead of the unmistakeable look of lust resonating on his friend's usually confident face, he almost instantaneously noticed a softer, adoring gaze which seemed to transmit love even from a distance as he followed the girl around the ballroom all evening. Oh he knew that Georg desired her, but it was more than that this time! Finally Georg had plucked up the courage to ask the object of his obsession to dance with him and Max knew then that his friend would not be continuing with the bachelor lifestyle the pair had been thoroughly enjoying. The rest of the evening he had heard snippets of information about Agathe's life, her likes and dislikes, her childhood haunts and her relationship with her father, her pets and where she liked to holiday- it went on and on. He had known then that she would become his obsession and a wedding was the only resolution which could follow despite having previously believed that his friend was not the marrying type.

Elsa was an entirely different matter. He had been thrilled when Georg had begun dating Elsa. Max liked money, he was not ashamed of that and between the two of them there was so much delicious money. They were a perfect match and he was looking forward to seeing two of his dearest friends combine their estates and he'd be right there to share in it with them. Love, however, was a different matter. He had never even considered that the pair of them might love each other; their union was not based on love, it was based on companionship. Poor Elsa had been left heartbroken when her husband, the Baron, had passed and Georg had completely broken down when he had been left a widower. He had watched them begin to heal each other and hoped love would follow but he did not see love as being the most important factor in a relationship between two people who had experienced it before.

Recently, Max had taken occasion to study a different relationship which was clearly developing before his eyes but had underestimated the true capacity of this relationship until tonight. Without a doubt there had been small signs that all was not as it seemed between Georg and the children's governess but he had brushed it off as a small trifling matter and hardly worthy of note as a threat to the connection between Georg and Elsa.

When the little nun had emerged from the lake dripping wet, Max had known Georg was in trouble. Behind his anger and rules and regulations he had noticed a tinge of lust, a shadow of the look he had seen him adopt so many times prior to Agathe but he was unconcerned. The girl after all was young, attractive, dripping wet, utterly unattainable- of course he desired her to some extent; he had naturally assumed that his friend would get over it soon enough. He knew his Georg would not take advantage of the girl and he had departed quickly with Elsa and the children leaving them to argue over the particulars of the children's time in the governess' care, really rather amused at the whole situation. He was inclined to think that Georg had met his match in this uninhibited young lady and the way she proved more than an equal match for him filled Max with unreserved glee from his place of observation by the window of the large sitting room. As much as he admired and loved his friend, he needed putting in his place sometimes and it took a brave woman to do it. It was one thing Elsa would never be capable of- she didn't believe in rocking the boat.

He had noticed something stirring between the pair on the night of the puppet show. By this time, Georg's whole demeanour had changed for the better and Max could see more than a glimmer of the doting, affectionate father he had known his friend to be before Agathe's death re-emerging. In fact, that night he was practically radiant, basking in his newfound relationship with his children and the joyous world of music the little governess had catapulted the family into. The unlikely pair had been innocently flirting backward and forward for weeks, though he doubted the postulant had any idea that her words could be taken in that way, and for that reason he saw these developments to be completely harmless. She had managed to throw Georg off guard again by requesting he sing. Could it possibly have been more perfect? The whole situation was playing into his hands! He already knew she had some sort of hold over Georg and now he realised she may be his greatest ally in convincing him to allow the children to perform in the festival and if he was to sing too...the act was perfect!

As he had sung that night, Georg had looked up directly at Maria who was smiling at him in that open and adoring way, which she often directed at the children. She rested her head back on the wall behind her, tilting it slightly to the side somehow making the eye contact between them appear more intimate to Max. Her eyes appeared to be glossing over and her soft sighs confirmed his suspicions. Unease began to stir in his conscience but he quashed it. It was one thing for Georg to have his little obsession over her, to deal with that in private but the governess had clearly begun to feel (he wouldn't go as far as love) something for him. The gazes between the pair were too long, too personal. Still, it was logical that they should have grown closer over the weeks. They shared a mutual love the children and that must be the reason for their understanding- certainly there was no inappropriate behaviour between the two and Max decided to watch these developments closely and as long as they remained innocent and no-one got hurt, he might even be able to use this little flirtation to his advantage.

Of course, disappointment had been his first reaction when Fraulein Maria had left the villa on the night of the party. Max was unsure of her reasons for leaving but he would bet a lot of money on Elsa having had something to do with it. She must have noticed the hidden glances between Georg and Maria and been jealous. It was a shame really- he was confident that from Georg's part at least the interactions were based on nothing more than gratitude for her work with his children and sheer lust-surely there is nothing more attractive then something you cannot have- something or someone like a nun. This displeasure was heightened when he perceived that the children's singing ability seemed to be negatively affected by the absence of their beloved Fraulein Maria!

He hadn't been surprised when Georg had proposed to Elsa and was very happy for them both. The thought of Elsa as the mother of seven children filled him with a wicked sense of delight! She was possibly the least maternal person he had never met! When Maria returned he was thrilled. Things were working out beautifully for him- he could not have planned it better. Not only were his two best friends engaged but the children's inspiration was back and the atmosphere in the household had truly picked up.

Yet somehow he had ended up sitting alone sipping brandy; what a surprising turn of events! Dinner had been an interesting spectacle. He had been too busy chatting with Elsa about the glittering delights of the Vienna social scene to pay much attention to his friend and the returned governess but had been keen to keep the girl close to work her magic in persuading Georg. It was the conversation which followed in the sitting room that had caught him off guard and made him ponder how he could have misread his friend so.

The sudden outburst from his friend when he had offered to match up Maria with some eligible young man was an over-reaction to say the least and had certainly given him reason to ponder. He suspected it stemmed from jealousy that went beyond pure and simple lust for the girl. His friend must have been more infatuated than he first thought. Surely Georg would not do anything silly which may let this silliness affect his relationship with Elsa? No, of course not. Georg would realise that it was just a passing phase. He would get over his current bad mood and he would take great pleasure in continuing his good natured teasing.

Still, Georg was nothing if not stubborn. He put his glass down on a side table and went upstairs in search of the man of the house.

...

Finding herself left alone in the office, Maria allowed her legs to give way as they had been threatening to do since she had first locked eyes on the Captain's lips just inches in front of her. Her mind seemed to have revved into over drive and (not for the first time) she could hardly make sense of her own thoughts. The Captain had nearly kissed her and she had nearly let him. Like a moth drawn to a flame she had found herself unable to pull away, he had to be the one to do it. Oh what had happened to the girl she used to be? What had happened to the girl who so desperately wanted to be a nun? She had sinned again and allowed him to confuse her more than ever. He had seemed so angry when she had began to tell him about her conversation with the Baroness on the night of the party. Angry with her and with the Baroness. Surely he wouldn't confront the Baroness about it would he? She prayed he wouldn't; she didn't think she could take much more embarrassment for one night.

Then he had insulted her more than anyone ever had before! To think that he had honestly declared that she would have compromised herself with him if he had tried to get her to, made her feel slightly sick. It might be true, but that didn't give him the right to say it out loud!

Despite this, she knew she would forgive him. If one good thing had some from their disastrous meeting this evening, it was that she knew for sure that she could not trust herself to be around him alone. All interaction with him from now on would need to happen with the children in the room too- then she couldn't lose herself like that again.

She was unsure why she started crying but she felt the tears fall before she could stop them. There was no way she was going to let anyone see her distress. She would simply stay here until she could control herself and then she would return to her room.

...

Georg realised his whole body was shaking, partly from anger and partly from pure, unadulterated lust. Now that the adrenaline rush he had felt whilst staring into her eyes was warring off, he was left with a pang of disappointment and the tell-tale sign of his desire still obvious in his trousers.

In his rush to leave his office, to escape from her and what he so badly wanted to do to her, he had not had a destination in mind and found himself instead sat on the top step of the staircase in darkness. There was no way he was going to be sleeping tonight so there seemed to be no point in retiring to his chambers now. He allowed himself to calm down for a moment and attempted to regulate his breathing before moving.

A sharp pain shot up his foot and through his leg as something pressed on his foot and consequently fell forward next to him in the hallway, cursing as it did so.

"Max?" he asked massaging his foot. "What on earth are you doing running up the stairs in the dark? We have lighting you know!"

"I might ask you what you are doing sat on the stairs in the dark, Georg," he replied in a light hearted voice. "Alas as your best friend I have learnt too many times not to question your motives and assume that all you actions have some founding in common sense", he added sarcastically.

Georg gave a small chuckle he didn't feel and rose to stand beside his friend. "I didn't want to wake the children, Max, that's all."

"I'll take your word for it. I was looking for you actually, Georg. I think you and I need to have a little chat, don't you?"

Despite the lack of light he could tell that Max was looking at him in such a patronising manner that he felt himself shrinking under his invisible gaze. Under normal circumstances this would have riled the captain no end but since he knew he owed Max a explanation for his erratic behaviour and needed his advice on the events of the evening he took it with good grace and nodded like an obedient child before following Max down the corridor towards his office, which both struggled with in the darkness, using the walls to feel their way along until they found the correct door and quickly entered.

A startled, "Oh" reminded Georg that he had left Maria in his office and had just been sat on the stairs so she couldn't have left without passing him, but his heart plummeted none the less. His distress only increased when he caught sight of her. She had stood up when she heard the men enter and was facing him from behind the couch. Her eyes were blood stained, her beautiful skin blotchy and his heart shattered into a million pieces at the sight. He had upset her. Every fibre of his being was screaming for him to rush to her side and take her into his embrace whether she welcomed his attentions or not.

"Maria, I..." he started to move towards her before catching sight of Max's face and stopping in his tracks. The other man's face was confused but communicating a clear message- disapproval. Max hadn't even begun to understand half of what he had done tonight and he was not amused. She planted his feet firmly and battled silently with his limbs to remain stood still way from her.

"I'm fine now thank you, Sir." Maria declared in a remarkably strong voice considering the shattered look on her face. Without making eye contact with either of the men in the room she held her head high as she walked past, making eye contact with Georg as she went, her visage conveying the picture of silent triumph at having remained composed in front of the men.

...

"Talk." Max Detweiler commanded simply, sitting behind his friend's empty desk, resting his elbows on the top of the wooden surface and clasping his hands together- the repose of a therapist, he chuckled to himself. If he wasn't so sure that he wasn't going to like what he was about to be told, he would have found this whole thing a most amusing game.

Georg felt like a child who had been caught by an angry parent who knew they were going to be made to suffer for their misdoing. Yet he began to explain his plight with as much honesty as he could.

Max could see the sincerity in his friend's eyes as his confession rolled self consciously off his tongue and felt a wave of sympathy wash over him as he heard him speak about his family and his guilt for his transgression in neglecting and- he finally admitted it- punishing his children for the death of their mother. He continued to listen as Georg explained that he had changed that day when they had found the children with their governess boating on the lake leading to that fiery confrontation.

Reason compelled Max to stop his friend's monologue. "Couldn't you just satisfy yourself in other ways, Georg?" He asked as tactfully as he could muster, sniggering slightly at the shade of red his friend's visage had adopted. "Must your satisfaction involve her?" As far as he saw it, a little self indulgence was fine as long as it didn't affect his relationship with Elsa. If Elsa would not cut it then there were other ways. The man he knew before Agathe would have thought of this already.

Yet speech seemed to have evaded his friend and he sat gaping at him with a look of such bewilderment that Max couldn't help but laugh out loud. Finally, Georg nodded and whispered, "it has to be her."

"Thank goodness she's not going to be a nun then!" he laughed trying to coax a smile from the other man but this only seemed to distress him further. "I feel the abbey would have taken a very dim view of you if she was still pursuing that vocation." His friend's thunderous look told him that was going to be more of a challenge than he had considered.

His tone became more serious. "Surely, a night of passion might clear your head, allow you to see whether it quenches your desires? Judging by the looks she gives you when she thinks no-one is looking, she would give in to your charms without too much persuasion on your part!"

"Max!" Georg countered. "Believe me, one night would not even begin to quench it. I want her every night for the rest of my life," he began to shout, losing his composure and forgetting the embarassment he felt at discussing this aspect of his feelings with Max.

"Do you mean... are you saying that you want to make her your mistress? Georg, I must tell you that I don't think that will go down well with Elsa..." he started before he was violently interrupted.

"My mistress? No. I want to marry her! When I take her to my bed, I want her to be my wife. Mine now and forever!" Georg pounded the arm of the couch in frustration and Max was shocked. Surely, Georg wasn't thinking about marrying his employee? The scandal! How delicious! What an interesting development.

"I'm sorry, Georg," he admitted shaking his head. "I entirely underestimated the gravity of the situation. Please, finish the rest of the story." He allowed himself to lie back in the chair and rest his feet up on the desk to study his friend as he struggled on.

Georg sighed and closed his eyes as he muttered Maria's name, caressing it like a prayer as he relayed how he had felt something he couldn't define as they had danced on the night of the party that shocked and concerned him. The pair's shared dance was a surprise to Max and he wondered why Elsa had not told him about this before. She was always so willing to discuss her plans concerning Georg, yet she had not mentioned a word! Once this had blown over, he would be having words with her!

Max couldn't control the sharp intake of breath he took as Georg told him the reasons he now understood to be his motivation for asking Elsa to marry him (his feelings of shame he felt as about his inappropriate thought about is employee, his fear of rejections and embarrassment at having fallen for a nun). Despite his growing sympathy for Georg, he could not help but feel his friend had acted appallingly with regards to Elsa. It had dawned on him that marrying Elsa was entirely out of the question now. It would be unfair to both parties.

His heart broke for his friend as he admitted how he had realised when he saw the girl again this afternoon that he loved her heart and soul. Suddenly the pieces of the puzzle all fit together. Part of his soul wanted to sing out in happiness for the broken man before him and the other half wanted to shake him for creating the mess which lay before them. How on earth had he let it go on this far?

"Does Elsa know? Georg, you've got to tell her..." he began, when Georg finally allowed himself to relax against the back of the leather couch and he was sure the story was over.

"She knows." Georg breathed rubbing his now red eyes and raking a hand through his already interestingly ruffled hair. "I tried to tell her.. but I couldn't."

"Oh Georg, you must..." Max began.

"She wants to be the one to end it. She didn't say that in so many words but she asked that I wait until tomorrow and I do not doubt that she knows Max."

Max was mollified but still was confused. One piece of the puzzle did not fit at all. Why was Maria crying in the office when they entered earlier? Surely, Georg hadn't hurt her? He'd certainly been in an angry state of mind when he had summoned Elsa and left the sitting room but he had never thought of his friend as a violent or impulsive person. The silence emanating from Georg told him that his friend was not going to forthcoming with the information. He'd just have to make him tell him.

"Georg, what did you do to Maria this evening?" Georg's head jerked up in surprise; then he released a strangled cry and dropped it into his hands.

"I've ruined her, Max. I've violated her". Max nearly fell off his chair in shock at the revelation. But hadn't Georg just said that a one time rendezvous was out of the question? What could he mean by 'violated' her? Surely he hadn't...? No. He was not capable of... Well, she had been crying but his friend wouldn't do that no matter what is mental state. He was sure of it! Yet the look she shot at Georg as she left the room...

"Georg. What do you mean by violated?" He asked in a deathly cold tone, his heart beating faster at the thought of his friend's implications. "Don't tell me you... don't tell me you've done something she will hate you for..."

Georg paled at Max's question and shook his head vehemently. "Oh God, of course not. No, not that but nearly as bad. I've only held her hand and yet I feel as though I may as well have raped her. I took advantage, I made her doubt her calling without explaining my feelings, purely to satisfy my need to know whether she feels the same as me. I have made her turn her back on her dearest dream to become a nun. I nearly kissed her tonight Max, and you know the effect that had on her! You know she left because of something Elsa said on the night of the party? She told her that I want to trick her into bed and she believed her!" His speech had picked up speed so that Max was struggling to follow. Georg was rambling, jumping between topics making it difficult to decipher but he understood clearly what Elsa had done. Her snide remark about influence before dinner on the night of the party suddenly made more sense to him. She had eliminated the competition. He had to hand it to her- she was determined.

During his impassioned speech, Georg had risen from his chair and was pacing the office floor. Max was starting to feel concerned for his carpet! At the rate he was going he'd have warn it away in no time.

A held hand! That was all! Max was at a loss of what to say. For the first time in a long time he was speechless. Relief was rushing through him to know that his friend had not committed the worst of crimes and he was slightly ashamed of himself for even considering it, yet he had no idea how to advise Georg to proceed. Clearly Maria needed an explanation as soon as possible. Heaven's knows, he was still a little confused about the whole thing, the poor girl must have been bereft!

After thinking for some time, he finally spoke, "Georg, you need to sleep. I don't think any good can come from upsetting the girl further tonight. She needs time to think but you must speak to her tomorrow. Tell her everything! First thing tomorrow morning, talk to Elsa. Let her have her ending. As long as the engagement is broken, it doesn't matter if she ends it her way, does it?"

Georg flinched visibly when he referred to Maria as 'the girl' but he was pleased to see Georg nod compliantly. "Now though, you must sleep. Or at least go through the motions. You want to look your best when you speak to Maria tomorrow!"

Another nod. He took his friend by the arm and pulled him to his feet. Max bid goodnight to his friend cheerfully and gently pushed him towards his chamber. Satisfied that he had made it there he headed towards his own room. What a day! He liked drama but this was a little too much even for him.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry I have taken so long to update again. I am still not sure I am happy with this chapter but I think it is the best I can do for the direction I wanted to take it in. As ever, please do review. :)

The small silver clock resting on the mantel piece of the largest and most luxurious room in the Von Trapp villa struck 3am and Georg threw off his duck feather bedding, letting the silk sheets fall from his body to pool on the floor. Frustration, both with the unrelenting pounding in his head and the heat of the summer night, were driving him to madness.

This heat! It was too much. It was stifling, and combined with the disjointed, almost maniacal thoughts repeatedly flashing through his mind, enough to drive a man to distraction. Although his body was exhibiting the signs of fatigue, his stream of consciousness would offer him no respite.

Several times he had felt himself finally relaxing, sensed an end to his psychological suffering but then, just as soon as he fell into an albeit disturbed slumber, she would appear to him again in his dreams. This dream was not new to him; he had dreamt it the night after he had sang Edelweiss and had woken the morning after feeling ashamed and defensive about his inappropriate thoughts towards his governess. He had no clue then that his feelings were love; he hadn't even considered it! Justifying to himself that it was innocent was easy. She was so nice, so vibrant, so virginal- what man wouldn't slip now and again when in close contact with such a temptation? Yet tonight it was subtly different. She was different. It began much as it had before with him lying alone in his bed, the mood shining in through the open balcony doors, the light netting of the curtains gently swaying in the wind. The door to the room slowly opened and she was there, Maria, her slim form covered only by a thin silk negligee, leaving much of her bare skin on show as she approached him. Then she was in front of him, kneeling on the bed as she crawled towards him, uttering his name in a voice so unlike her, so filled with lust that he knew even in his dream that she was unreal, not the his Maria at all. Yet she seemed so real to him as she reached him and gasped in delight as he drew her body flush against him, feeling all of her contours through the thin material separating them. That's where it always ended. Again, she came to him but this time she was crying, quiet sobs, which wracked her body with their severity as she crawled across the bed towards him. His dream self pulled her close as before, feeling her stiffen as her body fit close into the contours of his. Confusion drove him to softly sit her up and bring his lips to her face, leaving a trail down her exposed neck and across her shoulders as his fingers caressed her slim waist but still her sobbing did not stop. She did not make any attempt to leave him or struggle in anyway yet her red eyes and the tears dripping down her cheeks suggested she wanted him to stop. Georg wanted to pull away and detach himself from her misery but found he couldn't. By some compulsion he continued in his course- kissing across her collarbones and down towards the mounds of her breasts. To his disgust he realised that despite her devastation and resistance, perhaps even because of it he wanted her even more. It was this disturbing thought, which shocked him back into consciousness.

The combination of the unrelenting heat and how disgusted with himself and unsettled he felt following his nightmare, left no doubt in Georg's mind that he would not be sleeping again tonight. How long he had lain there contending with his thoughts was a mystery but the sunlight now beginning to shine into the room told him it must be the early hours of the morning and she would be awake soon anyway.

With a sigh, he heaved himself out of bed and paced the room again. The dream had left him desperate to see her, if only to convince himself that she was alright and that the awful crying he had seen and now imagined had ceased.

Perhaps he should wait until 6:30am? That was when he usually noticed her moving around and surely made much more sense than waking her now. He checked the clock and saw it was 5:30am.

Making a decision, he grabbed a jacket which was lying carelessly tossed away on a chair and left the room, determined to just check in on her and ease his worries.

...

Down the hall, Maria was having her own problems sleeping. Her dreams to be a nun were over. She'd been so sure that it was her path in life to spend her life at the abbey, never wanting anything more than to take her vows, sing and to visit her mountain yet now those dreams lay torn to shreds at her feet.

This evening had been filled with curveballs and announcing the change of direction her life had taken was only part of that. The Captain knew she had been crying and she hated knowing that he had seen her vulnerability. The whole evening had been so packed with painful moments and she had been left thoroughly confused. She was sure that in that moment in the study he had been so close to kissing her and then he had run away from her. At least that confrontation had solved one of her problems. She was confident that the Captain wasn't only interested in making her his mistress or he could have done so then and there but he didn't. One the one hand, she had felt the cold stab of rejection as he ran from the room, from her and yet she was also relieved that he had respected her enough to leave. She had found herself crying from relief and from bitter disappointment in herself and embarrassment in his obvious lack of faith in her moral convictions.

Alone in the safety of her room, she now felt relief provided by her resignation, if not quite at peace with her decision. For the first time in her life, she contemplated the possibility of marrying and having children. The thought terrified her and thrilled her at the same time. Still, she knew she could not have what or rather who she truly wanted so there was no point in even considering it really. Then again, Max had offered to introduce her to plenty of young men. She should not dismiss the idea so quickly, not matter how much it hurt. Mere hours had passed since her hopes had been shattered, but she was now beginning to accept it and found that she felt completely worn out and had no real feeling left. Perhaps it was this which was causing her tears to continue to softly and quietly fall. There was no body wracking sobs born out of passion but instead cold tears, which refused to desist even as she slept, leaving her pillow wet.

A quiet knock brought her out of her reverie and she sat bolt upright in her bed hoping one of the children was not hurt or upset. Then again they had never bothered knocking before but instead had come charging in, even the boys who tried so hard to pretend they were beyond rushing in to seek the help of a governess. Maria slid herself out of bed, wiping any tell tale signs of water on her cheeks and crossed the space to the doorway, not bothering to try and find her robe which was lying over a chair on the other side of the room. She opened the door slowly, surprised to find The Captain stood just outside.

...

"Reverend Captain Sir!" She exclaimed in obvious surprise. Now that he was here, Georg found that he had absolutely no idea what to say to her. He hadn't really thought as far as her actually opening the door and had been so focussed on just seeing her to put his mind at rest, just to know that she was alright and hadn't left again. He wouldn't have blamed her if she had.

Damn it! How could he help but curse himself for not preparing for this moment? How was a man to think clearly and form some sort of coherent verbal expression when she was stood there, looking much as she had done when he had caught the children all in her room on her first night at the villa? Despite the fact that that nightgown was so loosely fitting and undeniably modest, he could not help roaming his eyes over her body from top to bottom before looking away quickly at the look of knowing on her face. She certainly looked better than earlier but he was sure that she had been crying again, judging by the slight film clouding her beautify eyes.

"Was there something you wanted, Sir?" she questioned, inclining her head slightly to the side, something he had noticed her do before and now found endearing.

"Hmmm?" he replied, staring determinedly at his fidgeting hands in an attempt to stop himself from staring at her figure again.

"You must want something, Captain. After all, it is 5:30 in the morning and yet here you are practically in my bedroom..."

"Well, erm, Fraulein..." he stuttered, surprised at her boldness, feeling a fool and clasping and unclasping his hands in frustration with himself for his inability to have just one interaction with her where he didn't come out looking like such an idiot.

"I just wanted to check that you were alright... you know after earlier when I..." he trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence. What had actually happened? He wasn't sure he even knew. He hadn't kissed her so it didn't really count as anything happening did it? He couldn't tell her how close he had come to enacting those dreams of his there and then in his office of all places.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Captain. " she replied after a moment's pause, a small smile toying at the side of her mouth as her eyes bore directly into his, a slight glimmer shining through their glassy film. "Did something happen earlier?" His heart skipped a beat in response. Was she teasing him? She was certainly defying him in her own way and it made him glad. Thank goodness! It was the best answer to his question that she could have given him but he squirmed none the less, unsure of how to proceed. A small part of him longer to tell her about his dream, how it had scared him and what it could mean but a much larger part of him was screaming for him to go back to bed now he knew what he had wanted to know.

This time she took pity on him.

"I'm perfectly alright thank you, Captain. No harm done." She ran her eyes up and down his form like he had done to her not so long ago, making him suddenly very aware that he was stood in a hallway at 5:30 in the morning with a woman he was not engaged to in just his pyjamas.

"Yes, well, I shall expect you to wake the children soon for breakfast." He stated, thankful for the way out. He turned and started to walk away back towards his room before looking back at her once more. "And Fraulein, don't be late!" he added, fearing his parting comment was in vain but happier than he had done all evening.

...

Maria closed the door slowly, unable to stop a small grin from creeping into the corners of her mouth. She had been so surprised to see him there. She still couldn't quite figure out what on earth he was doing at her door at this time of the morning.

She hadn't failed to notice his stare as he looked her up and down and she had felt instantly very conscious of the fact that she was only wearing her nightgown in front of him again. This thought was over ridden by his obvious display of his insecurity as he floundered for words. Good. He deserved! Never one to be subordinate, she had pretended not to know what he was talking about when he stated that he was checking if she was ok after earlier. If only she could get him to explain to her exactly what had happened earlier? Why couldn't he be more specific? Earlier at dinner or earlier in his office? But no, she had taken pity on him, unable to bare his discomfort any longer. Much to her annoyance, as he had left, he had got in that final jab at her issues with timing! Somehow she knew he would consider himself to have outwitted her there which annoyed her even more than him running away from her earlier. Still, he had given her a little of her spark back and she had finally stopped crying! The only problem was that the pain of his marrying The Baroness was back, prickling its way through her moment of happiness in the semblance of normality in their attempts to outsmart one another.

6:30 rolled around and she pushed all thoughts of the previous evening, in fact the previous couple of weeks from her mind and started to get dressed in the dress she had worn on the night of the party. She would simply wake the children, smile, make small talk with her employed and his wife to be in necessary and look after the children as she was here to do.

...

Elsa usually did not rise before at least 8:30 but today she was awake and dressed, bags packed and loaded into the car and pacing the hall, waiting for Georg for once.

After their conversation before retiring to her room last night, she had been a broken woman. She had been wronged and she was angry and sad. Yet no matter how hard she cried, tears would not come. Why could she not bring herself to cry? After all, she had been in love with the man hadn't she? Elsa suddenly realised that she had never once considered love as an aspect of her relationship with Georg. Of course she had considered that once married they would resume the natural sexual relationship of a husband and wife and there had been moments, mainly before Vienna when both had engaged in the more innocent parts of such a relationship and she had even looked forward to it and had known he was looking forward to it based on his bodies response. But love? To her the two were not necessarily the same thing. Her relationship with Georg had arguably been more about companionship and the joining of wealth than anything else; perhaps that was why she could not properly mourn the end of their relationship? Now she came to think of it, didn't she deserve more than that too? It would hurt and she would dearly miss him but perhaps this was for the best after all. She had rehearsed her speech repeatedly since waking and knew what she had to do.

Finally, he descended the stairs. This was it. She made her move before he could speak.

"Georg, darling! I've been thinking and we simply must speak privately, dear," she began as confidently as she could muster, aware that Frau Schmitt and Franz could hear every word. She could be an excellent actress when she wanted to.

"Of course, Elsa" he replied, taking her hand and leading her into the sitting room, smiling in what she interpreted as encouragement. Good. He was making this as easy as it could be.

"Darling, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us and I've decided that this simply won't work. You're far too independent and simply do not express enough interest in parties. I belong in Vienna, Georg and you belong here." It was true- she saw it now.

"I see," was all he said in response.

"I've enjoyed every minute of our time together, Georg, but I must leave today to visit some friends. Quite simply, I miss Vienna too much," she ended truthfully. As she gazed at the man she had spent so much time with, who she had wanted to marry, Elsa felt her eyes prickle with tears for the first time, and blinked them back desperately, knowing it was time to leave.

She leaned forward so that her mouth was close to Georg's ear, resting her hands on his shoulders as he gripped her elbows in response. "Don't waste any more time, Georg. She knows she will never be a nun and now nothing stands in your way..." she whispered.

"Thank you, Elsa" he said simply, kissing her cheek and giving her one last endearing smile.

She turned her back to him and started to walk away.

"And, Georg... if anyone asks I will tell them we never intended to marry, in fact it never even crossed our minds. We were just two good friends and I was thrilled to hear of your relationship with the young girl. No-one need know. I would prefer it that way."

There was nothing more to say. She breathed a deep sigh, content that she had handled that as best as she could have done and without looking back she walked away from him for the last time.

...

As he watched Elsa drive away, George realized that he was free. He had wanted to question Elsa, to know why she would say those things about him to Maria, he had not wanted to let her off so easily but he was above all a gentleman. What did it matter now? He had no desire to upset or humiliate Elsa. He could finally explain, finally tell her everything, finally take her in his arms and make her his if she would let him. Oh how he hoped she would let him! He was truly sad to see Elsa go. She really did mean a lot to him; she had got him through some of his darkest days and he would miss her but he didn't need her like he needed Maria.

He longed to see his children and tell them, anticipating the looks of relief he was sure would follow and heal the hole in his heart left by the dismay that had been so apparent after his last revelation on the subject. Thus he contemplated going to check on their progress himself but resisted, not wanting to arouse suspicion and end up telling them before Maria could hear it too. For better or worse, it was her reaction he would be watching the closest of all.

Finally his children began arriving, bounding into the room in a manner he would usually find most inappropriate but found charming this morning. His two sons came in first, always prepared for breakfast at least 5 minutes early, chattering away about a picnic in the mountains, which was evidently taking place today. The three eldest girls were next, not so happy to be awake and much quieter than the boys. Gretl and Marta came running in holding hands and hugged him before taking their seats but still Maria had not arrived.

Impatiently, he looked at his watch. She was late despite his warning. Again, a ripple of annoyance spread through him at her obvious defiance but this was squashed when she finally arrived, slightly breathless and looking utterly irresistible, her hair slightly askew as it had been when she removed that awful hat on the day of her arrival. She was entirely different to the Maria in his dream and for that he would forever be thankful.

"Good morning, Captain, Children" she said before taking her place next to him and staring directly at him all the while as if challenging him to make a comment on her lateness.

He battled with himself not to, making sure they gave their thanks to the Lord before eating but his penchant for punctuality got the better of him and turning to his right he asked as sweetly as he could, "is there a particular reason that you have not managed to be here in time for a prompt start to the day, Fraulein? Everyone else seems to have managed it perfectly well."

She carried on eating as if she had not heard him for a moment before replying, "well, that's not strictly true is it, Captain? I see no sign of The Baroness this morning." She smiled sweetly as she said it but he wasn't fooled. There was a sadness behind her eyes which she just couldn't mask and he was sure that he was much more interested in Elsa's business this morning than was strictly appropriate for his employee.

"Where is The Baroness, Father?" Asked Brigitta in a tone that made Georg wonder for a moment whether she already knew the answer. How could she?

He carried on eating, attempting to appear nonchalant as he prepared to announce the change of events.

"Well Brigitta, I am afraid she had to return to Vienna this morning to see some friends. I am afraid she will not be coming back to marry me or in any other capacity."

The noise was deafening as all seven children erupted into a mixture of joyful cries and confused questions but there was one person whose face his eyes remained trained on. She was staring directly back at him, her eyes locked directly on his as if she could see into his very soul and then she looked away. What on earth was she thinking? He hadn't exactly hoped for a joyful reaction- he knew her too well for that but he had thought she might give him something to work with.

Then she smiled. It was fleeting, barely for a moment and directed at her food rather than him but his heart leapt with joy anyway.

"We've broken off our engagement see, children."

"But why, Father?" questioned Gretl. "Don't you want to marry her?"

He paused for a moment unsure how to answer without embarrassing himself and Maria, who he could feel staring at him. "I thought I did Gretl." He answered truthfully, "but sometimes there are reasons why you can't marry someone because it wouldn't be right." He was pleased with that answer- diplomatic- not giving too much away.

Louisa, Liesl and Brigitta were looking at him as if they didn't believe him at all and for a second he was worried about what they were going to say but then they resumed eating the conversation turned back to the picnic and he breathed a sigh of relief.

Throughout the rest of the meal, he continually tried to sneak glances at her and was thrilled to find that their eyes often met and she held his glance each time rather than looking away like she had at dinner last night. His insides were melting and he wondered how he could have failed to realise for so long that this was love. The feeling was so much sweeter now that the constraints of his mistakes and her vocation had fallen around him. Part of him wanted so desperately to take her aside now and just tell her of his feelings, to admit everything but one thing stopped him. Although he obviously wanted her to give up on her plans to become a nun, he wanted to marry her for heaven's sake, he still felt so unsettled that she had announced it with such sadness and such regret in her voice. He would do this properly and not rushed with seven children waiting for a day out. His stomach fluttered as he anticipated spending the day with her but as he gazed at her once more his fears were lessened slightly.

At that moment, Max finally made his appearance. He was earlier than usual; why it must only be 8am!

"Morning everyone, how are we all this morning?" Max asked to a chorus of seven who proclaimed, "Uncle Max!" He knew why Max was here early- he wanted the gossip. He knew his friend was going to make his life hell today- the teasing would never end! However, he also knew his friend was close to Elsa and would want to check she was okay and he was more than happy with that.

Better to get this conversation over and done with:"Max, I need to show you something, if you will?" he asked, deciding to seize the day and squeezing Maria's hand as he stood up, his heart filling with joy as her small fingers squeezed back. He took one glance back as he walked towards the door and noticed his children crowding Maria, eager for more details of the day's plans and expressing happiness as the changes of the day and he was hit with overwhelming feeling that things in his household were finally as they should be.


	7. Chapter 7

Apologies first- I am sooo sorry it has taken me so long to update! Life seemed to explode and was just in the way! A long holiday to America and the birth of my nephew took over and then my laptop with the next chapter on died a painful death and I got a little discouraged but I should be back to updating faster now and finally finishing this story! Thank you for the new reviews and for sticking with me. I feel I should end it- doesn't seem fair if the movie and the real-life Maria and Georg get to be together but mine don't! I imagine there'll be one more chapter after this one but I thought I'd give you a little something for now.

I hope you like this chapter but it's ok if you don't- I would be grateful for reviews either way.

…

Georg could practically feel the heat of Brigitta's gaze on his hand which had seconds before been holding the hand of his children's governess just five seconds before and there was no doubt in his mind this time- his ever observant daughter had definitely seen their hidden touch beneath the table. As Georg left the room, he felt the eyes of Brigitta following his every move with much more scrutiny than he felt comfortable with and knew she would not keep her thoughts on this whole situation to herself for much longer without getting some answers and he sighed in resignation before closing the dining room door behind himself and his oldest friend and without speaking to Max yet, he led the way across the hall, whilst Max practically skipped along behind him.

…

Maria could still feel each point where the Captain's calloused hand had squeezed hers not 5 minutes ago as she tried to battle with conflicting emotions, whilst trying to appropriately answer the numerous questions being thrown at her and at each other by seven very excited children. She was not proud of the way her heart had flipped as he had announced that his engagement to the baroness had ended and despite this moment of happiness, Maria began to feel prickles of guilt once again as away from the distraction of the Captain's close proximity the memory of her inappropriate behaviour towards him flooded into her mind. What if the Baroness knew what had happened between the two of them and had left because of her? He didn't seem unhappy as he informed them of the change of circumstances but no doubt he would put on a brave face for his children. There was no other way forward, she would have to speak to her employer and make sure that she had not ruined things for him.

Oh, was love supposed to feel to all consuming like this? On the one hand these feelings seemed to threaten to drown her filling her with terror and yet her heart also seemed to have a life of its own, spreading the feeling of warmth through her veins. Overall, she felt more elated and more miserable than she ever had in her entire life.

Luckily, Maria was snapped out of her thoughts by Gretl's small hands tugging on her arms in an attempt to sit on her lap. She lifted the girl onto her lap and breathed in the fresh smell of her hair as she had the previous night and cringed as she remembered the humiliating way she had needed to reveal her change of heart with regards to her faith.

"Fraulein Maria, what will happen now that Father is not going to marry the Baroness? Will you stay with us forever?" she asked, hope crossing her small features.

"Don't be silly, Gretl," Brigitta retorted to the younger girl, "She can't stay here forever as a governess because we aren't going to be needing one forever- children grow up you know."

"I know that," Gretl replied, lifting her chin in defiance, "but what will happen to us if we are not to have a new mother? You will stay and look after us won't you Fraulein?"

The concern in her eyes broke Maria's heart but what could she say? She had no idea whether she would be needed anymore but she did know she couldn't stay here with him without making it so blindingly obvious to everyone that she was in love with him. She couldn't face him every day if he knew but didn't feel the same.

"Don't worry, Gretl. Everything will be alright, darling," she answered, kissing the top of the little girl's head and smiling at Liesl in a manner she hoped was reassuring.

At that moment, a rumble of thunder rolled across the sky and a gentle patter of rain hit the window pane causing all seven of the children to jump out of their seats and rush towards their governess, throwing themselves on her causing her to giggle at their reaction and elevating any tension from the room.

"I think we may need to rethink our picnic plans, Fraulein!" Fredrick declared.

"Please say we're still having picnic food, my stomach's already rumbling at the thought," Kurt moaned with such sincerity that Maria could not help but laugh at his dedication to food.

Maria could not help but feel a little disappointed by the change in the weather- she was hoping to have a fun day in the mountains with the children and their father. She was counting in the numerous joys of the mountains to distract the children so that she could try to at least check she was not to blame for the recent change of events with their father. Despite this, she also felt relieved that she was not going to have to be alone with him again so soon after the disaster of yesterday evening. Somehow she suspected he would try and ask her about that and she wasn't sure she was ready to talk about it yet.

…

Max's curiosity could not be held at bay any longer- why was his friend playing so coy and remaining silent on the one subject he wanted to be updated on more than anything? After all, he had risen ridiculously early to be of service and Georg had asked to speak to him outside of the breakfast room rather than the other way around. Two could play at that game, he decided.

"Well, that looked very cosy, Georg. I'd think it was a true family breakfast between a husband and wife and their children if I didn't know better…"

Nothing. His friend raised an eyebrow but did not respond to his goading. Well, Max would not give in so easily.

"What a fine morning this is, Georg. Is there anything you are planning on doing today, which I should be aware of?" Max smirked as he practically skipped across the hallway floor towards the sitting room he was currently being led towards.

Reaching the sitting room, Georg silently ushered Max inside and closed the door. "Max, if I didn't know better I'd think you were trying to annoy me this morning."

"You know me so well, Georg." Max smiled in response. "Now, out with it. In all seriousness, you must talk to Elsa as soon as possible. Do you want me to orchestrate an isolated meeting with her?" His mind began to run through excuses to orchestrate such a meeting- his role in this would be vital and he was keen to out his ideas into action.

"No, no Max. You are too late I am afraid."

So he had woken early for nothing! He felt betrayed by his best friend- how could he cut him out of such an important development in his life?

Underneath his indignation he began to feel a growing concern: "But what of Elsa, Georg? How did she take it?"

"Elsa and I have spoken and it is all taken care of. I was right last night and she knew already. I think she realised that we were wrong to even consider marriage and was extremely dignified. I know I shouldn't have led her on in that way but she had no right to speak to Maria on the night of the party and especially not to tell her those things about me."

Max could not help but feel sadness for Elsa despite her wrong doing. She was not a malicious person- she was competitive and jealous, yes, but she was not a bad person at all and had made a mistake. She was still his friend and he needed to check that she was alright, especially since he had helped to set up the pair. He understood his friend's frustration and he was loyal to Georg no matter what but Elsa also deserved happiness.

"You need to move on from that, Georg. You have to forgive her for your own piece of mind and talk to Maria. As much as it displeases me as I would truly love to see your blundering conquest of the young postulant, I fear I should go to Vienna and offer Elsa some support against the vultures of society who want to know why she is not returning engaged." Those women could be vicious and he for one would not want to face them alone.

He noticed the way Georg's eyebrow arched at his suggestion of a 'blundering conquest' but this was quickly replaced by a wince at the thought of the judgemental and even scathing treatment Elsa was likely to receive on her return to Vienna's polite society.

After a brief pause, Georg nodded slowly and Max clapped his friend on the shoulders before cheerily calling, "good luck on your romantic endeavours! Keep me updated on how events pan out."

"Good bye, Max." Georg replied as Max took the stairs to his room three at a time, turning back in time to see George brace himself before returning to the dining room.

…

"Fraulein Maria, do you think we could play in our rooms today after our studies?" asked Marta, pulling gently on Maria's sleeve to get her attention.

"Ohh no, Marta. We can't study today- it's Saturday!" Friedrich declared with apparent horror evident on his youthful face. "We can just go and play can't we, Fraulein?" His eyes were wide as he implored his governess. "Kurt and I are going to build a model ship!" Kurt nodded enthusiastically in support of his older brother.

"Of course Friedrich!" Maria answered amused. "You can go now children if you wish…" she began but she was drowned out by the sound of seven excited voices as they rushed towards the door.

With a deep breath Maria rose and followed her young charges from the room and towards the stairs where she walked into something solid and firm. She felt a lump rise to her throat as she looked up to see the Captain's face inches from her own and found herself unable to breathe. He really was handsome! Yet he looked tired. Had he looked that tired earlier? She knew he had been up early from his visit to her room but had he not slept well? He seemed to her to be holding his breath as much as she was as they continued to stare into each other's eyes and time ceased to have a meaning as it had once before when she found herself in a similar stance in his arms that fateful night in the garden.

Finally, she felt the rise and fall of the Captain's chest as his hands began to roam up her back bringing her to her senses as her skin burned in a trail left from his touch. With a shock she realised that her hands were resting on his chest, her fingers brushing the smooth cotton of his shirt and she stepped back in shock, instantly regretting the distance between them.

He cleared his throat and Maria realised he was as nervous as he was to find themselves alone despite the lack of privacy in the very open hallway to his home. Rather than turn away from him and avoid him catching her staring as she had done so many times before, she watched his Adam's apple, fascinated as it bobbed up and down whilst he stuttered an apology.

"F..f..forgive me, Fraulein. I was careless."

"No harm done, Captain." Maria replied, her heart beating rapidly against her ribs as she quickly moved her eyes away from his throat.

"I thought a picnic was on the cards today yet my children appear to have just ran upstairs…" he asked slowly.

"Sorry Sir, the weather didn't want to cooperate so, Kurt and Friedrich are building a ship and the girls and reading I believe…"

The Captain nodded in understanding.

"I was wondering Maria, if I could perhaps talk to you for a moment. I hope the children can spare you for a while? He asked, blushing slightly, taking a step close and closing some of the gap she had created moments before. Maria's breath stilled. This was what she had wanted and yet the idea filled her with dread.

A beat later there came a cry from Gretl, "Fraulein Maria, Kurt has taken my doll and is not giving it back to me!" came a distressed cry from above.

Maria sighed and smiled apologetically.

"Well, perhaps I could meet you- just you- later…alone… I mean not with the children?"

"Be brave, Maria! Remember what the Reverend Mother said. You have to find your life and face your fears." She thought to herself.

"Of course, Captain." She replied carefully, edging towards the staircase, shivering slightly from the nervous smile he flashed at her as she turned away and went to help her youngest charge.

…

As she walked away Georg's pulse began to return to a normal rate and he mounted the stairs towards his office. Georg wasn't surprised to find that as he rounded the bannisters and crossed the hallway to his office he could already see a pair of white socks encased in chunky heeled grey buckled shoes sticking out over the arm of his leather couch. He had no doubt that these and the crossed legs which accompanied them belonged to his most inquisitive daughter and found himself bracing in preparation for the conversation on the topic of what she had observed at breakfast, which was bound to follow now they were alone.

She made no attempt to move from her reclined position as he father entered the office but instead confidently continued to read, her face hidden in her book and innocently half sang, "Good afternoon, Father."

"Good afternoon, Brigitta." Georg could not help a small smirk from crossing his face as he rounded the couch and made his way to sit behind his desk. "How may I help you this afternoon?" He asked politely, hands resting in what he hoped looked like a relaxed manner on his desk and leaning back into his chair.

Finally, she looked up over her book and stared him full in the eye: "What do you mean, Father? Can I not read in your office? Am I being too loud of your liking?" she asked raising one eyebrow, her eyes wide in mock indignation, making her resemble her mother immensely and confirming his suspicions that she clearly had an ulterior motive.

"Brigitta, there is no way I am going to believe that you are merely reading in my study without having another reason for being here. You have never- never- simply sat and read quietly in my office before and I refuse to believe that it is the case now. What is it you wanted to discuss?"

She swung her legs down from their place on the arm of the couch and placed her book on the leather as she addressed him: "I simply wish to read away from the shrieking of my brothers, Father and your office was the only place I could think of to accomplish this. Would you prefer me to leave?"

He looked his daughter up and down wearily; clearly she was not going to make this easy for him. "No, no. Please continue." He gestured to her book with his hand and pulled some papers towards him in an attempt to appear busy as Brigitta returned to her book- feet resuming their earlier position.

Barely a minute had passed before Georg could take the expectant silence no longer. It had not escaped his attention that Brigitta- usually a very fast reader- had not turned one page since resuming her book leading him to strongly suspect that she was not reading it at all.

"Brigitta, how have you siblings and yourself taken the news that Baroness Schraeder has left the house? It must have been a shock to hear that her and I would no longer be getting married and I just hope you are all coping with the news…" he trailed off, watching his daughter and she kept up the pretence of reading- staring intently at her page rather than looking up at him.

"I suspect the younger girls were surprised, Father. The boys perhaps were too. But I wasn't the least bit surprised. You were never going to marry her so I didn't give it much thought."

Her face still remained hidden behind the book, meaning Georg could not gauge her expression. What did she mean by saying he was never going to marry her? Of course he was! He may have been deluding himself but when he had asked Elsa he truly believed he was doing what was best. Admittedly his affection towards Maria this morning may have given her a clue but that was after he had told his children of his change in plans and he was sure Brigitta had been oblivious last night- in fact he had purposely watched her to make sure she could not tell what was happening.

"What do you mean, Brigitta? How could you possibly know that? We were engaged- Elsa- The Baroness- she had begun wedding plans…I started sorting the honeymoon…"

"Oh, Father… you might not have seen it but you were never going to marry her. You couldn't have married her. It would have been simply impossible."

She was speaking in riddles-that's all there was to it. She must be winding him up. She truly was her mother's daughter! When he and Agathe had first met and were courting, she would say things which he could not figure out for the longest time. He had spent many an evening trying to decode her speech and figure out if she was serious or teasing him. Was Brigitta implying that Elsa was too good for him? Surely not- as a wealthy and titled widower he was a perfect match for such a woman!

Despite everything he found himself defending his previous attachment: "Why not? We were an excellent match- I am a single man, she is a single woman, we both knew what we were doing…"

Brigitta crossed one small foot over the other and absentmindedly began to tap the top shoe against the side of his couch. Still her eyes did not lift from her book, which was fast becoming very frustrating to him.

"Yes, all of that is true in theory- but you couldn't have married her because you are in love with someone else and have been for weeks."

Georg felt his blood run cold. How would she know that? He only realised it yesterday for goodness sakes!

"Brigitta, I… what makes you think? How did you?"

With a large sigh, his daughter swung her legs down and sat up straight, finally putting down the infernal book and facing him.

"I am not blind father. When you announced your engagement, I was surprised and even slightly concerned for a moment but yesterday all that disappeared and I am only disappointed that I doubted my own intuition. I knew I hadn't imagined it! I mean you stare at her all the time- at the dinner table, when we're playing outside, you're stood there looking out the window! And the way you smile at her is how you used to smile at mother…" she smiled a little at him then. "And after you came home and found us on the lake that time you looked like you wanted to kill her. You've never been the least bit bothered about speaking to any governesses who couldn't control us before…"

Did he stare at Maria all the time? It's true that he had often watched the children out the window when they were playing but isn't that allowed- he was only looking out for his children. Except that he wasn't- he was unashamedly staring at their governess and had been caught. Thank goodness the children were in bed before the conversation and revelations of last night or he did not doubt that the small girl in front of him would have had something to say about that too. Did the other children know? He hoped not. He was suddenly struck by the thought that if one of them mentioned this to Maria, she may be frightened off before he had time to speak to her alone, filling him with more urgency than he already felt.

"Do your brothers and sisters know?" He asked quietly- more of a whisper than anything.

She stared at him for a second before shaking her head slowly. "Liesl may know but she wouldn't tell and the others are too oblivious to notice," She said confidently. "Don't worry, if anyone is going to give it away to the entire household it'll be you. You should be more careful before holding hands under the table." She stood leaving her book on the couch and smiled at him before quickly leaving the room- no doubt in case she was about to be chastised for her tongue.

…


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you for the lovely reviews. Special thanks to IDon'tKnowYourSignal, Guilia1990, eve1993, Warmwoolenmittens, BrittanyLS, BlossomOfEdelweiss, bloomandgrow, Sakurapanda18, EvaAnderson and the anonymous guest reviewers.

Sorry for the long wait again. This was so hard to right and I deleted it all and started again a few times. I just really wanted to do it justice. I may add one more chapter but I am not sure yet. I guess I'll see what you guys think. Hope you like it but please review even if you don't.

…

Brigitta left her father's office as quickly as she could, knowing she would likely be told off for her parting comment, despite it being true and entirely valid. Really, adults could be so clueless. You can't just go about holding your children's governess' hand under the table for anyone to see and not expect it to be noticed at some point!

Why did adults have to make everything so complicated? Brigitta couldn't understand it at all. It had been so obvious to her (and surely her elder sisters) that her father had been attracted to Fraulein Maria. Even if they had missed the other moments, there was no way that they could have failed to notice the way he had looked at her the night of the puppet show when he had sung to them all. The singing in itself was a miracle- she couldn't recall ever hearing her father sing before and would be willing to bet that he wouldn't have sung for them if Fraulein Maria hadn't been the one to ask him to.

And what about Fraulein Maria? Should someone who wants to be a nun really be holding a man's hand at all-not to mention her employer's- under the table. They should just get on with it and decide to be married before father did something else silly- like become engaged to another person. Adults really could be infuriating! She turned the corner into her room rummaged around for a book before settling down in top of her bed covers to read for real this time.

…

The Captain stared after his daughter as she made a swift exit from his office and sank back into the chair behind him. For a moment he considered calling her back and quizzing her further on the subject, but he knew her too well. If she had any more to say, she would have said it and he found himself feeling thankful that he had got off relatively lightly.

Georg ran his fingers through his hair agitatedly as he considered his next move. It had become clear to him that Maria was unclear about his intentions, something he found particularly distressing as there was no doubt in his mind now what his intentions toward her were. Yes, he wanted her in his bed but he also wanted her as his wife, his forever and to be a mother to his children. Would she want that? She had spoken just last night about wanting to work with children but being a permanent mother to seven which were not her own was another matter entirely. If that was what she wanted, would she want children of her own? He hoped so. The idea of her pregnant with his child was a massive turn on. He'd never even given the idea of having children with Elsa a thought. It seemed so unnatural somehow.

Softly he sighed. If she felt as he hoped she felt, then by tonight Maria would have agreed to be his wife and spend the rest of her life by his side and he could stop obsessing over and analysing every small gesture and word which had passed between.

He needed to visit Agathe's grave, he realised suddenly. Before he could finally tell Maria everything and know for sure how she felt about him, he needed to visit her just once. He had always felt particularly awkward about speaking to a grave stone and the one time he had taken the children he had refused to be part of their grieving and instead left it up to his parents to help the children to lay flowers and do what they needed, choosing to hide his grief from everyone, from himself even. It hurt too much. Yet now for the first time he knew he needed to feel close to her and tell her about Maria in the only way he could.

How funny that the very idea of vising Agathe's grave to in anyway ask permission would have seemed ludicrous to him before; he never even considered it when he and Elsa had made plans to be married. He supposed the concept was the same but marrying Maria was completely different in every way. Why had he not realised before that he and Elsa would not have worked? Despite plans being put into action for the wedding it had never really felt like it was really happening.

He slowly stood, the decision to visit the small church yard where his wife was buried firmly made and prepared himself to leave.

…

Georg parked the car beside the small church where his wife was buried and for a few minutes just sat there thinking about everything that had happened over the last few months- in particular the last few days- the engine still ticking over. He had always thought that this church was beautiful and Agathe had loved it so, yet just being here made him remember all the times they had spent time here before she died. Their wedding had been here and the children's christenings and numerous other trips had been taken here but it had become too painful and for the last few years he had avoided it at all costs, never visiting and refusing to take the children. The rain from earlier was slowing to a lazy drizzle and his excuses for putting this off were running out. With a sigh, he brought the engine to a halt, gathered the flowers he had picked up from a small shop in Salzburg from the seat beside him and left the car.

The place was deserted and it didn't take him long to find her, towards the back of the church yard, just below a yew tree, a small cross above her resting place and a simple inscription, nothing but her name. It made his heart ache to see the grass overgrown and lack of flowers which adorned many of the other graves and he arranged the blooms he had brought as neatly as he could, letting his hand linger over the cool stone marking where her body silently lay.

The rain was easing still and he decided to sit for a while on the slightly damp grass, which had been saved from the majority of the rain by the branches of the beautiful tree beside it. He needed to do this properly.

Despite his reservations about coming here, the protesting weather and his worries about raking up the emotions and sadness he experienced the last time he was here, he found that he could not help but feel hopeful. Everything he needed Agathe to know ran through his mind: his deplorable behaviour towards their children- how he had let her down and had not looked after them as he had promised her, his mistakes with Elsa and how he had got carried away and nearly married someone he was not in love with to hide his shame in falling for an unattainable woman, search after search for a governess who was not scared of his children, his initial annoyance with his children's governess and resulting growing obsession with her and his desire for her he couldn't explain but found it impossible to ignore.

His heart ached just thinking about the sight of Maria, cradling his youngest daughter and how desperately he wanted that sight to remain forever. Tears finally began to form in his eyes as he remembered the sight of Maria crying last night- a result of his actions and his guilt at her decision to no longer become a nun hit him again and he realised again how much he was truly in love with her. Being in love with Maria was different to being in love with Agathe, he realized. It was just as strong, just as all-consuming but different. He had known from the start that Agathe liked him and he was in with a chance (though she had kept him on his toes) and knew the first time he saw her that she and he would be married.

However, being in love with a woman who was about to promise herself to God was unbelievably painful, especially when she had been openly so scathing of you and for some confounded reason (which you could not fathom) you wanted her to approve of you in spite of her lower rank and obvious ignorance of everything. Even more so when you constantly nursed a glimmer of hope that she felt the same way but would choose God anyway.

Now he was being honest with himself and preparing to lay himself bare to her, he was able to admit that he must have known he was too far gone on the night of the party. That dance- that awful, wonderful dance that never should have happened had changed things between them irreversibly.

Before that dance, he had known there was no possibility of anything happening between them, hadn't really wanted there to be. Yes, he had spent plenty of time staring at her; for one foolish moment when he was singing to on the night of the puppet show he had thought how wonderful it would be to consume her, to confide in her, to let her into his heart but then the moment passed.

Then as she had so openly gazed into his eyes as their dancing stopped he had seen a flicker of what he thought was desire, a lot of confusion and the dynamic had shifted irreversibly. The way his body responded to her worried him. Innocent flirtations were one thing, but the heat and agitation he had begun to feel was unbearable and it was taking everything for him to control himself and walk away from her and their dance and re-join the party with Elsa.

He had let himself down when Max had suggested he let Maria join the party and found himself saying yes, desperate to spend more time with her, to be able to watch her further but he had tried to make up for it, he really had. When she had not returned, he had resisted the unbearable urge to go and look for her and tried to respect that she did not wish to join them and continue his role as host. How he wished now that he had checked and had been able to speak to her then! If she didn't want him, she could have continued with her dream and become a nun and if she did want him… he could have saved a lot of people heartache.

That night he had dreamed of nothing but her, how he longed to discuss the party and the insolence of Zeller with her, to talk about the achievements of the children in their songs for the guests, how thankful he was to her to reuniting him with his children, and when he had woken up to find her gone he was angry. Crushed but angry. With her, with God for taking her back and with himself for ruining things. Everyone was so happy with things as they were and he had known as he had gazed into the endless blue of her eyes, her small hands still linked to his, that whatever they had between them was over at least in that innocent form-it couldn't go on.

Above him the sky raged and the heavens opened, dragging him from his thoughts. To his surprise, it was beginning to get dark; he must have been sat there for hours! "Forgive me for everything, Agathe" he thought, stroking his hand across the smooth indentation of her name as he took to his feet, his already very damp clothes fast becoming soaked through and found himself overcome with a wave of such peace and contentment as he hadn't felt for years. He knew Agathe couldn't communicate with him, probably couldn't hear him- she was in a much better place- but this was the closest to her he had felt since her death and he hoped wherever she was she understood and approved.

More than anything he wanted to tell Maria and feel her warmth in contrast to the coldness which was now gripping his very bones.

"Please God, let her love me back," he prayed silently as he half ran across the grave yard, taking one last look back at the church he had been absent from for so long. The thought of their shared touches and not so secret glances over the last few days filled him once more with hope, but enough was enough now. No more. He needed to go home and put an end to this longing and wondering with no relief.

…

Maria paced backward and forward, nibbling her nails agitatedly. Time was ticking and the Captain had asked to see her this evening to talk about 'things'. She had no doubt that the Captain was going to ask her more about why she had left and holding hands under the table was bound to come up too and she was so confused about why and how that had happened when she had rehearsed this conversation in her mind that she had been unable to form any kind of response which she thought would satisfy him.

She had noticed that he had left the house early in the afternoon and she had not seen him return but the night had crept upon her and she somehow could sense that he was back.

The relief and (although it disturbed her to admit it) happiness, which had flooded through her veins earlier had been replaced with a mixture of fear and excitement, leaving Maria feeling restless and unable to concentrate from the remainder of the day. Luckily the children had been happy to amuse themselves and with the exception of meal times and bath time for the two youngest girls, they had not required much of her, which was just as well as she wasn't sure that she would have been good for much.

What exactly was it she wanted him to say to her? That he had broken off his engagement to the Baroness because he wanted to marry her instead? It sounded ridiculous to her own ears. The Baroness's comments from the night of the party plagued her still yet if the Captain had really only wanted her for one reason, surely he would have taken what he wanted by now? He had said so yesterday after all! Still, she didn't trust herself to be alone with him again without anything else happening. Although she now knew for sure she would never be a nun, she still found herself filled with guilt whenever she thought about any kind of physical contact with him or any man, which was only increased every time she realised she wanted something to happen again though she was unsure exactly what.

The clock on her bedside table gave a delicate chime as it announced the hour and Maria's breathing raced as she realised it was so much later than she had realised. She thought back to the conversation they had had in the hallway earlier and tried to remember when and where he had wanted to speak to her. She didn't recall him specifying but since it was now 9pm and the children were all settled in bed she suspected that he would be waiting for her- perhaps in his office? She shivered slightly at the thought.

Why was it that it seemed to her that the prospect of being alone with him in his office was so much more daunting than any other part of the house? She suspected it was because it appeared to her to be entirely him, so foreign and yet appealing as he himself was to her. Yes, technically the whole house was his, but his office was undeniably male- restricted to the children and devoid of the feminine touches that his wife had no doubt brought to the rest of the house. Throughout her time at the house the children had barely mentioned their mother and the Captain had mentioned her even less, yet somehow Maria sensed she would have liked her.

She sank down onto her bed and rested her head in her hands as she tried to mentally prepare herself to face him once more.

Her head snapped up as a small knock lifted her from her thoughts and she froze in place. Who would be knocking on her door at this hour? Only one person she could think of.

She rose, smoothing the flowing material of her dress once with her hands before slowly turning the door handle and opening the door.

There he was, for the first time without his jacket, just a white shirt slightly open at the collar and Maria took a sharp intake of breath as she felt her cheeks flame red. There was something so intimate about seeing him stood at her bedroom door again, hair messed up (was it wet?) and shirt untucked, which made her heart flutter and her stomach flip.

"Captain!" she stated as casually as she could, feeling the need to fill the silence between them. "I was just about to find you to talk as you suggested… the children are in bed but I only just finished clearing up.. I was on my way you see…" She was rambling already.

"Maria," he stopped her, "I was wondering if we could talk now? Could I come in?" The whispered words sounded unsure but his look was firm and unrelenting as he held her gaze.

As if by an undeniable force, she found herself slowly nodding her agreement despite her head screaming at her and her heart begging her not to.

She turned from the door and walked to the opposite side of the room, realising for the first time that her legs were trembling slightly, making it feel as though her destination was miles away rather than barely four metres. Maria's heart leapt in her chest as she turned, acutely aware of the burning intensity of the Captain's gaze which had followed her without relenting as she had moved from him, aware that she could not stare at the curtains forever and would be forced to meet his gaze yet again as she turned back to him. Those cursed curtains! Surely they had been complicit in these feelings being awoken in her since it was those which had ended her first fight with the Captain barely ten hours after arriving in the villa?!

The small click of the door as it gently closed drew her eyes back towards him, forcing her to turn. She had never before thought of this room as being particularly small, in fact it was more than double the size of the room she had inhabited at the abbey, and yet now it seemed so tiny to her and she desperately evaluated where she should stand or sit.

O how wrong she had been! This was one part of the house which seemed more daunting to be alone with him than his office.

Still, this was technically her space and she would be attempt to appear as relaxed as she could and then perhaps she would feel it. Confidently, she walked back towards him and sat on the edge of her bed patting the space next to her for him to sit also, which he did, slightly awkwardly and as far away from her as he could get. How different this felt to the last time she was alone with him in this room! For one he was not chastising her for breaking the rules on account of a thunder storm…

"What did you want to talk about, Sir?" she asked turning slightly so she was looking at him, her body refusing to angle towards him, stubbornly facing forward.

His mouth opened but he did not speak, hands twisting together nervously as they had done that morning when he had appeared outside her door. She could not help but watch the base of his throat, which moved with his breaths and his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed awkwardly. Her eyes flicked up to find him studying her with equal intensity and her cheeks flushed crimson as she turned away.

"I just- I feel like I need- I wanted to apologise, Fraulein. I know I have not behaved like a gentleman should, and I just- I want you to know that my intentions are and always have been honourable towards you. What happened last night in my office, I wanted so badly to- I just needed to leave before I…well, it wasn't time yet and I wanted you to know I definitely didn't mean to upset you and I am terribly sorry that I did. Please forgive me?"

What did he mean it wasn't time yet? She was still confused about what had nearly happened between them last night but she believed him- she really believed him that his intentions were honourable and that was enough.

She inhaled deeply: "There's no need to apologise, Captain. I trust you." The relief was evident on his features and she suspected this had been plaguing him all day. "After all, I have allowed you into my room alone with me at night after everyone has gone to bed…" she continued. His eyes met hers and she could feel herself melting again, the barriers she had put up slowly coming down. He shifted slightly, repositioning himself so that their arms were next to each other, so close to touching but with no actual point of contact.

"And I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night when I announced my- erm- change in plans. By that I mean that I cannot be a nun anymore. I fear I may have disappointed you and I am sorry." She looked away, her eyes drawn to the window displaying thunder in the distance. Now she had spoken of her shame in being unfit to fulfil her life's ambition, she could feel tears welling as the had done last night and she bit her lip in an attempt to stop them. Her eyes settled on her hands in her lap and she wrung them together, trying to distract herself enough to stop the infernal blubbering which was threatening to start. Why was she even crying? She knew it was more from shame and disappointment than sadness now, that deep down she had known that although she wanted to be a nun, she wanted to be his wife more. If she felt like that in her heart, then she had no business being a nun at all.

The Captain moved his hand as though he was about to place it on hers and then he floundered and took it back again, seemingly unsure if that was the right thing to do. Was his hand trembling?

He settled on moving slightly closer, just within an arm's length. "I didn't mean to react like that. Believe me, disappointment was the last thing on my mind."

Was he pleased then? Her heart soared slightly as she tried to consider the implications of his statement.

He seemed conflicted and his speech planned: "If you still wanted to be a nun then couldn't you? Is all hope lost." His voice had lowered and shaken as if it physically hurt him to say the words.

"I'm afraid I can't sir." She muttered sadly, slowly shaking her head. "My heart isn't in it so it would be wrong."

Silence filled the room once more. Neither of them attempting to break it for a moment and time seemed to stand still. Part of her found the stillness unbearable but she didn't speak for fear of shattering whatever thin barrier was still existing between them.

Finally, he broke it, his voice quiet and slightly strangled, "If you want Max to introduce you to some of the young men he knows, then that's fine. My reaction was unacceptable… I know that."

She shook her head silently, quickly wiping her eyes where a single tear had escaped. He was staring at her so intently that she could feel her cheeks beginning to burn. He hadn't actually asked he anything but he seemed to be questioning her nonetheless.

"Help me to understand. Tell me about the abbey, Maria. What made you want to spend your life there?"

Slowly she gulped. It seemed such a personal question and yet she wanted to tell him everything- bare her soul and hope he bore his too.

…

Her barriers were up and he was unsure how to gently probe for the answers he so desperately wanted.

Georg had come so close to taking her in his arms when her eyes had watered as she spoke about disappointing him but something stopped him. What if she pushed him away? He wasn't ready to let himself be that vulnerable yet- he just needed something from her and he knew he would give her everything. He had been a coward and rather than just asking her if he was the reason, he had tried to subtly skirt around it. It had physically caused him pain to suggest she still become a nun or allow Max to set her up with a friend of his and he had been relieved when she had not seemed thrilled by either idea.

He was staring at her again, her beautiful smooth skin and eyes with unshed tears in the half light. Perhaps it was a bad idea to speak to her here? He was extremely conscious that he was sat on her bed alone with her at night when he was supposed to be apologising for inappropriate behaviour!

But then she began to speak and he forgot to think about anything else: "When I was a child I used to play on the mountain behind the abbey and look over the wall at the sisters in prayer. I was so jealous. They had a purpose and were always busy. I loved the idea that they loved God so much they would give up everything for him. Then my mother died and soon after my father and I wanted some sort of stability, someone who needed me and the abbey seemed the perfect place…"

She trailed off and looked up at him as if for reassurance and his heart broke. This time he couldn't help it, of its own accord his hand reached out for hers, entwining their fingers and his heart started to race at an alarming rate.

"I've always why wanted someone to need me and that's one of the reasons I have enjoyed looking after the children so. I felt like they needed me and you needed me too. At first I was unsure, but after I'd figured that out I knew why I had been sent here- you all needed me to help fix things…."

He was dying to speak to tell her how right she was, how they needed her still but she continued on.

"I thought God needed me to do his work but he doesn't. I don't follow the rules, I sing in the abbey and run off to the mountains rather than praying… the amount of times I've had to kiss the floor to make up for it…"

He hadn't been aware that he'd started lightly stroking her wrist and arm until she looked down, her voice trailing off but now he knew he couldn't stop. She was so soft and he wanted to comfort her somehow. This was also the first time he realised he'd stopped breathing the moment his hand had taken hers and he was actually having to think about it rather than it being a natural process. Damn, he loved her so much and wanted to tell her now but something told him to wait, that this wasn't how he needed to do it.

"and now the children don't need me either." He barely heard it-she whispered it so quietly.

"That's simply not true, Maria." He stood, needing to be away from her for a second to calm his nerves and compose his thoughts. "The children need you so badly. They were miserable when you left- the little ones cried- even the boys were devastated." He knew he sounded desperate but he didn't care. "I need you too. You gave me my family back and for that I can never repay you. Please stay…"

She smiled softly but her eyes showed the emptiness behind the gesture. "You don't need me anymore Captain" she whispered firmly, raising her eyebrows slightly and tilting her head towards him as if daring him to argue. "The children forgive you and you don't need me to help you connect with them again. You can do that all on your own."

How could she think that? Could she not see that he needed her? Would always need her, by his side?

She stood up and for a moment his breath hitched as he hoped she was going to come towards him but then she turned from him and walked towards the window, staring at its fogged panes and the rain drizzling down the glass. "As for the children, they only needed me because they didn't have you but now they do."

If she really thought that, he would just have to change her way of thinking.

…

The unrelenting rain still hammered down on the clouded window and Maria stared at it unseeing. Then there was a movement behind her and the clouded reflections in the window pane showed a shadow moving towards her.

Suddenly, he was so close to her, so close she could sense the heat from his body across her back. Her heart pounded against her rib cage as she felt him move closer still and his breath tickled her neck making her shiver as he whispered, "would it not be nice to finally have people-one person in particular- who doesn't need you but simply _wants_ you, Maria?"

He was so close she could barely form coherent thoughts let alone sentences but as she considered his words her knees felt weak. Oh, how wonderful it would be to be wanted! There were sisters at the abbey who didn't want her- she knew that- it had been a long time since anyone had cared enough to want her yet here he was telling her that he wanted her. She wanted _him_ to _want_ her more than anything and a soft whimper escaped her at the possibility.

"Maria." He whispered her name reverently, like a prayer and she closed her eyes, aching to tell him how much she wanted him to want her and tried to hold the moment.

"Please God" she silently implored, not sure what she was asking him for.

"Maria?" This time it was louder, more insistent but still she did not turn afraid to face what she needed so badly.

Then his lips were on her neck, kissing painfully slowly from the back around towards the front, leaving a soft trail of flames across her skin and she knew he felt her body tremble in response. Breathlessly, she bit her lip to stop herself from whimpering again in response. As if of its own accord, her head rolled back onto his shoulder and his hands softly clasped her hips on either side, feather light touches, barely there, that made her heart ache and her breath get caught in her throat.

"Maria?" She could feel his breath on her ear and she shivered- not from the cold or fear but something else she couldn't name that made her feel too hot and unsettled.

"Maria!" This time he turned her. Hands firmly but gently skimming her waist as he twisted her to look at him and she brought her eyes to his, her head slightly tilted back away from his scrutiny.

She couldn't think, her head was too clouded and she couldn't seem to get enough air into her lungs.

When she had managed to control herself and could think clearer once more, she could see his face was crossed with that same look she had noticed there last night as he had run from her in his office as he begged rather than asked, "why did you come back?" His hands were gripping the top of her arms now, just below her shoulders and his grip was tighter- there was an urgency there as he lightly shook her as he voiced his plea. He sounded odd and was that a slight break in his voice?

Maria took a deep breath and brought her eyes to meet his own, trying to keep her breathing as even as possible. He was pinning her there, leaving her no way to escape, no way to retreat.

She couldn't stop the trembling now. All she had to do was answer and she had no doubt he would finally close the distance between them, which she was embarrassed to admit even to herself that she wanted in that moment more than she had ever wanted anything and yet the very idea terrified her.

"Maria!" There was no doubt this time, his voice definitely broke as he said her name in a way that she couldn't ignore any longer. So much love seemed to be poured into the word it was more like a caress than a question or a statement and she quietly groaned at her inability to refuse him this answer.

Her voice didn't seem to want her to answer yet she made it, gently whispering, "Because I want you too."

…


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Hello lovely readers. Sorry for the long wait again- there's always so much to do and not enough time. I fully intended to update quickly but became quite ill and ended up in hospital for a while. I have worried over this chapter as I feel I am rubbish at writing too slushy stuff and it didn't turn out quite how I wanted but I was trying to make it realistic. I've always thought it'd be really weird to go from being a postulant to getting married and wondered how you'd feel about suddenly being with a man, hence this chapter. I hope you aren't disappointed. If you are then I'm sorry. Thanks for sticking with me. I will do one more chapter just to tie things off but I shall leave it at that as I have too many new story ideas. I hope you like it. Please review.

…

"Maria." Georg desperately needed her to look at him yet still she faced away.

"Maria?" This time it was louder, desperate even but he couldn't help it. Despite her admissions earlier, which had made Georg feel closer to Maria than he ever had before, she seemed to have closed off from him now, an invisible barrier leaving him unable to break through to her.

Incapable of withstanding the tension any longer, he did the only thing he could think of to try and connect with her once more, to try and communicate his feelings without having to vocalise them- he brought his lips down to the exposed back of her neck, perfectly smooth and slightly tanned from her time spent playing outside with his children. As if compelled, he continued his course kissing down her neck towards her collar bones, revelling in the way his ministrations caused her lithe frame to tremble in response and her heart to hammer at an alarming rate, which he could feel pulsing in her neck. He desperately wanted to keep going and continue to elicit responses like that from her but he could tell that she was still fighting to remain closed off from him.

Finally, her head rolled back onto his shoulder and he softly caressed her hips, holding her gently to him.

His resolve to get an answer from her was fast fading and in the back of his mind, Georg' guilt at having already taken advantage of her was beginning to nag him once again. "Maria?" He tried again, aware that his voice was barely a whisper and he coughed slightly, trying to clear his throat and mind before he became completely caught up in the moment.

"Maria!" Something inside him snapped and he couldn't wait any longer to look into her eyes. This time he turned her, his hands stroking her slight waist. She was so soft and the way her body was staring to respond to him was addicting. More than anything he wanted to kiss her properly but the rational part of his mind dominated still and he choked out: "why did you come back?" The last word trailed off slightly as his eyes started to water and his voice cracked with the emotion.

There was no doubt that she was afraid now as she started to tremble uncontrollably and the enormity of the day and his feelings for this woman came crashing over him in a wave. She was looking at him now, slightly leaning back, away from him but her eyes bore into his, endless tunnels which seemed to hold a whole plethora of secrets.

Still she stayed silent and Georg's insecurities resurfaced as he realised again that Maria had to be at least ten years his junior and deserved so much better than him, yet she was not making any attempt to escape from him now.

He moved his hands to the top of her arms, aware that he had left her nowhere to go but he was not going to let her avoid answering again; she had to give him something- an indication that she loved him too or a rejection so he could let her go- no matter how painful that may be for him, even though he knew he would never recover.

She looked so thoroughly conflicted that it hurt him to see her like this but he needed this torture to end once and for all. This more than anything was the one question he had to have an answer to. It was everything to know why she had returned when she could have run and never looked back; she could have seen the children when they visited the abbey just days ago and never have had to see him again or she could have told the reverend mother that she doubted his intentions and she would have made sure he would never have been able to contact her ever again and yet she did not. She came back to him.

"Maria!" His heart was breaking with each second of her silence and he couldn't stand it any longer. He could not force her to answer but he could make one final plea to her. In those three syllables, he had poured his heart- hell, he had poured his entire soul and he had never felt more exposed to anyone than in that moment- "Maria!".

Her voice was so quiet he wasn't sure he had heard it at first but there it was: "Because I want you too."

For a moment time stood still, and the room seemed to melt away leaving nothing but Maria's eyes for Georg to drown in as he tried to force his brain to comprehend what he was sure he had just heard. Those 5 words formed the most glorious statement he had ever heard, what he had been so desperate to hear and still he stood, rooted to his place mere inches from her, gripping her arms as if she would vanish if he let go for even a second.

The stillness in the dimmed light of the room combined with persistent pitter patter of the rain on the glass window panes was almost stifling and he saw her eyes falter- flickering downwards as she softly bit her lower lip, a small crease crossing her brow and making his heart ache once more. Softly, released one on her trembling arms and brought his hand up to tuck a lose strand of her hair behind her ear and tilt her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes again.

Tenderly, he leant forwards so that his mouth was right next to her ear and whispered, "say it again."

He was so close to her now, their cheeks millimetres from touching as he longed to hear that glorious sentence from her once again- desperate to know his imagination and desire was not fooling him now. Her breathing was laboured and shallow as she shakily declared, "I came back because I want you too."

He moaned softly in relief, silently thanking God, managing to hold his stance without wavering but his breathing was wavered and he realised he may have been trembling as much as Maria was. He was desperate to kiss her but the water in her still sad eyes warned him she was not ready yet and he settled for enveloping her in his arms, breathing in the intoxicating scent of her hair, pleased she could not see the boyish grin he was struggling to keep from spreading across his face.

…

With her head resting against Georg's firm chest, Maria could feel the rapid speed of his heartbeat and found it strangely reassuring to find he was shaken up by their conversation as her. As for the way he had kissed her neck, she was sure God could not approve of that and she shuddered to consider that the reverend mother would think if she ever found out she had allowed a man to do that to her.

Maria was once again conflicted. On the one hand, she felt relief that finally, she knew that Georg wanted her to stay with his family and he knew she wanted to stay with him as well and the children, yet on the other she still felt all- consuming guilt, more so now that she had before. What would happen now? What were two people supposed to do after laying themselves so bare to each other? She knew she would spend all night worrying how she would ask for forgiveness from this latest sin and desperately hoping it happened again.

Eventually, Georg stepped back and Maria could breathe, although not normally, much more easily again. She was sure her face must still be flaming but Georg didn't seem to have noticed as he was pulling her softly to resume their earlier position, sitting close to one another on the bed. His eyes never left her face and he was gazing at her with a look of such adoration that Maria could not help but hold his gaze, a soft smile gracing her features, earning her a smile which sent her fluttering heart into overdrive.

She inhaled deeply, gathering her resolve to speak first. "I'm sorry I left, Captain. That was entirely selfish and wrong of me. I don't think I ever believed what the baroness said about you but she said something else that I did believe. She said I was in love with you and after we danced that night I couldn't honestly say that I knew for sure it wasn't true and I needed to leave, to repent- after all, I was here on God's errand and had no business thinking of you at all, let alone dancing with you!"

She trailed off, lost in her own thoughts for a moment and distracted by the realisation that the rain was still relentlessly pattering onto the window outside.

She had been so surprised when he had tapped Kurt on the shoulder at the party and asked his son to step aside so as she and he could finish the dance together. It had started entirely innocent, the pair of them moving through the motions of the dance methodically until she had suddenly realised that they were approaching the part of the dance where she would be closer to him than she had been to any man in her life before. As they moved through the steps, she found herself drawn closer to him than had even been strictly necessary and he seemed to be in the same predicament, his eyes not leaving hers for even a moment. She mad made the mistake of bringing her eyes up to meet his and found that rather than feeling uncomfortable like she had at the thought of this intimacy with him instead she was mesmerised. In that second she saw and felt and flash of something she couldn't possibly explain or understand but it made her heart pound and ache at the thought of never experiencing a moment like this again. In that fleeting moment, it was like he, the man she had previously thought hated her but whom she had come to respect and admire, truly understood her, like they had an unspoken understanding that existed only for them and it had shocked and scared her more than anything had in her life before. The baroness' comment," what a lovely couple you make' had confused her and made her extremely self-conscious. She was sure that the Captain had never thought of her in that way; she was fully aware that he thought she was a silly and unruly girl and she had escaped the situation as quickly as possible. How long ago it seemed now, though it was barely two weeks ago.

"I know Maria" came the reply, bringing her back to the present. "I hoped that was why- not that I wanted you to be unhappy- but I had hoped... I just wished that... Well, you don't have to explain to me anymore. I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable but I just needed to hear you say it to be sure that I wasn't going mad."

"Oh…" She looked away rapidly at the embarrassment in his eyes. What else was there to say? "Well, I came back to see if, perhaps, God had another plan for me, which didn't involve becoming a nun… I don't really know what I will do now I know I cannot return to the abbey. Oh, if Sister Berthe ever found out that I let you…"

…

He really was going to have to make her realise that physical affection between a man and woman was natural and that they had not done anything that they would need to instantly marry to rectify. Surely she knew what the natural conclusion to their declarations was? He could not wait to marry her and show her that they physical expression of love was holy between two people who were married and loved each other.

"Maria?" he asked tenderly, unsure of himself still. She had relaxed slightly earlier but the barrier was back up now, her body again ridged next to him. "Surely there is only one thing you can do?"

He had reached over and taken her hand, tracing small circles across the back as he had done last night, the cause of so much confusion it seemed. She had flinched less this time, but it was still her first reaction to his touch. She looked genuinely confused or perhaps just unsure now, making him smile internally at her innocence.

"You do know I'm in love with you, don't you?" he spoke softly. "I think I have been since the day you dressed my children in curtains and put me so abruptly in my place."

Her chest rose as she inhaled at his declaration but she didn't reply and for a horrible moment he worried he had been terribly wrong and that this revelation had been unwelcomed but then she smiled and nodded slightly but did not reply.

"I just need you to know that the reasons for my proposal to Elsa were wrong. I was angry, at myself and at you for making me feel so many emotions- one emotion in particular- which I hadn't felt with Elsa, had never expected to feel again and that night as we danced it was as though someone was mocking me. I didn't recognise it was love at first but I felt I had been given a taste of something which I wanted desperately but could never have. I couldn't stand it Maria. I know it's selfish of me but I can't stand being around you if I can't have you so when you left I should have been happy but I was miserable. Everyone expected me to ask her and I thought perhaps if I did I could forget you and be happy. I was wrong."

"And know we haven't done anything wrong. Physically I mean…" he trailed off embarrassed, "but if it makes you uncomfortable when I touch you I won't."

Her response was quiet and he cheeks coloured as she replied, "I do want you to. I just feel so guilty."

She looked so lost and his heart broke to see her distressed. "Please talk to me. Explain it to me."

For a second he thought she wasn't going to open up to him, but then it all came out in a stream, "I feel guilty because I know that even before the reverend mother explained to me that loving a man doesn't mean that I love God less and that perhaps my calling is not to be a nun, I knew that if you'd asked me I would have chosen you over him in an instant and I feel guilty because when you touch me and when you kissed me I didn't want you to stop."

His heart leapt to know she enjoyed his touch and he supposed it was natural for her to feel guilty since it had, until recently, technically been inappropriate for her to be alone in a room with a man.

"Maria, I hope that you'll believe me when I say that the reverend mother is right- you belong here with me and the children and there is no reason you should feel guilty about that. As for the other reason for your guilt, we do need to be careful now but I won't do anything you would need to be ashamed of and once we are married, God will approve of us doing whatever we want to." He squeezed her hand tightly to try and reassure her. "Please say that you will marry me and stay with me?"

"Perhaps we should marry quickly then." He was not expecting that.

His body reacted moments after his mind, which had concluded that he simply couldn't wait a moment longer to kiss her. He heard himself involuntarily groan as one hand moved from Maria's shoulder, wrapping around her slim waist to hold her body flush against his and the other fluttered across her upper back and neck to rest buried deep in her hair as he brought his lips down onto hers as slowly and controlled as he could. Oh God, they were so soft as his own moved across them.

She was so nervous, he could tell. She seemed to tense under his touch, holding herself as still as she could as he tried to reassure her, softly caressing her through the material against her back with the arm still wrapped around her waist. Unable to continue with her body signalling she was unhappy, he began to pull away but she shifted closer on the bed, stopping him.

"Relax Maria, we're not doing anything wrong."

His heart slammed against his chest as, to his delight, her arms moved, from where they had hung so loosely by her side, to meet behind his neck, her delicate fingers brushing the skin exposed above his shirt collar and below his hairline and he felt her slowly relax into him, pulling him with her as she shifted to lie on the bed, his weight on top of her.

He could have gone on kissing her like this forever, but he was becoming acutely aware that his body was responding to her touch in a way that Maria could not fail to notice if he continued to hold her pressed under him like this; he just wasn't ready to explain to someone who was going to be a nun not two days ago, especially one who felt guilty for having physical contact with him at all, the effect she was having on him.

With a sigh, he released her and pulled away slightly. "We need to stop, Maria" he said slightly breathlessly, sitting up and raking his hand through his hair, his body still angled towards her.

"uumm" was all the reply he got. It seemed to be taking her a moment to recover herself, still heavily breathing as she lay there.

"You're right, we should get married soon," he said, pleased when she giggled and hugged him tightly.

…

As he finally kissed her, Maria was surprised to find that her first reaction was that of relief. Everything that had happened over the last few days seemed to have been leading up to this moment and that felt like the validation of her feelings and wishes. Yet amongst that relief was the now familiar prickle of panic- she knew it wasn't wrong but it felt so unnatural to have someone else do something so intimate.

"Relax Maria, we're not doing anything wrong." She wasn't totally naïve; she knew he was right and she trusted him.

Then, she could feel herself relaxing into him and suddenly it didn't feel odd to be doing in this with him at all. In fact, it suddenly seemed to all make sense. It was as if every moment spent in his house, with him and with his children had been building up to this, as if it was always meant to happen. An overwhelming feeling of peace settled over her, which was quickly replaced by another feeling as she realised now what he meant by physical attraction being part of love.

She already knew she could trust Georg but as he pulled away from her telling her they needed to stop she found she loved him even more. Somehow she had ended up lying down and was rather relieved as she needed a moment to get her head around the events of the evening.

He looked so dishevelled as he said, "You're right, we should get married soon," that she couldn't help but giggle a little. How could she have ever found him cold and uncaring?

At the bang of her bedroom door opening, both Maria and Georg sprang up from her bed, Georg putting a few metres distance between them as Gretl and Marta stormed in grabbed onto Maria, nearly knocking her over.

They were closely followed by Brigitta, who caught sight of her father in her governess's room and stopped dead, her eye brows raised as she looked between the two of them.

"Fraulein Maria! The storm woke us up and we can't sleep with the thunder and lightning" Gretl's voice was muffled by the material of Maria's dress.

"Where are the other's?" Maria asked, looking at Georg rather than the children as if asking what she should do.

"They're asleep." Brigitta informed her. "As could be expected for this time of night," the girl said cheekily. "What were you and father up to Fraulein Maria?" she asked innocently, her head slightly tiled questioningly.

She was saved from answering thankfully, which was well and good she was struggling to form a coherent excuse: "We were just having a meeting about your studies actually, Brigitta." Georg replied with a slightly icy tone to his daughter. Maria was extremely conscious that her dress what extremely creased as was the bedding on one side of her bed and Georg's shirt and a quick look between the three from Brigitta confirmed to Maria that there would be no hiding this from her. She couldn't help but be slightly amused by Georg's efforts nonetheless.

"Shall we continue our meeting tomorrow morning, Maria? I just need a quick word with Brigitta but are you alright settling the two little ones?"

"Of course, sir" She replied, attempting to keep the amusement from her voice. She watched the pair leave, not failing to notice Georg's parting look, loving but intense and found herself looking forward to tomorrow.

…

Why did his children have such a knack for turning up during private moments? Georg followed his daughter from the room, closing the door behind him and counting down from five, knowing he wouldn't make it to zero before he received Brigitta's opinion on what she had no doubt pieced together from what she had seen.

"Father, how was your meeting with Fraulein Maria?" she asked innocently and he rolled his eyes.

"Quite satisfactory thank you Brigitta." He replied. She would not be getting anything else from him tonight, no matter how hard she tried.

"I assume you'll tell us the result of the meeting tomorrow?" she asked, clearly aware that she was pushing it as he gripped her bedroom door handle ready to make a quick escape if he was to chastise her.

"I wouldn't assume anything, Brigitta. He replied, trying to match the sweetness in her tone. "You may be sorely disappointed. Good night." He walked off back toward his bedroom, with a spring in his step, sure in the knowledge that tomorrow would be a good day.


End file.
